HOLKER, September 21st, 1864.
—We all went to Furness Abbey, which carried me back to my delightful Lake tour with Papa and Uncle Stephen in '62, when I little thought under what circumstances I should see it again ! Thence, after a sumptuous luncheon, to lionize the iron and steel works (the latter F. is concerned with), the new dock, etc., of Barrow, which owing to the iron, has increased in population from 200 to [FN: Figure not inserted.] in about 10 years ; and is a spic-and-span, bustling place looking embodied Go Ahead.
Friday, January 30, 2009
21Sep1864, Former Beaux Engaged
HOLKER, September 21st, 1864.
—Had a glowing letter of happiness from Rosalind Stanley, [FN: Wife of the 9th Earl of Carlisle.] who is to be married on the 4th, and who announces her sister Kate's engagement to Lord Amberley. [FN: Son of the Prime Minister, Earl Russell, and father of the present Earl Russell and of Mr. Bertrand Russell.] F. and I have had much fun over this state of things ; for both the swains have formerly a little made up to me, and Ly. Stanley tried hard to hook Fred for one or other of the damsels ! Let us hope matters will turn out better as they are.
—Had a glowing letter of happiness from Rosalind Stanley, [FN: Wife of the 9th Earl of Carlisle.] who is to be married on the 4th, and who announces her sister Kate's engagement to Lord Amberley. [FN: Son of the Prime Minister, Earl Russell, and father of the present Earl Russell and of Mr. Bertrand Russell.] F. and I have had much fun over this state of things ; for both the swains have formerly a little made up to me, and Ly. Stanley tried hard to hook Fred for one or other of the damsels ! Let us hope matters will turn out better as they are.
13Sep1864, Jarring Civilities in a Church
HOLKER, September 13th, 1864.
—Soon after 12 went to Ulverston with the Duke and Lou, for the laying of the 1st stone (which he did) of an aisle to be tacked on to a most mean and scrubby church. The service was painfully intermingled with civilities and a rush after the trowel and mallet ; it was jarring, to say the least of it, to have prayers, civilities, sermon, blessing "God save the Queen," a speech from the incumbent, vociferous cheers and laughter from the crowd, in the church, and a speech returning thanks dragged out of the Duke by the said cheers, all one on the top of the other. Then came luncheon, where I liked my neighbour, Archdeacon Evans. And so home again before 4. Went into the village with Lou, and liked the people we saw. Then arrived the Edward Howards, and I was scandalized by these undutiful nephews calling their uncle Peter ! Lively whist.
—Soon after 12 went to Ulverston with the Duke and Lou, for the laying of the 1st stone (which he did) of an aisle to be tacked on to a most mean and scrubby church. The service was painfully intermingled with civilities and a rush after the trowel and mallet ; it was jarring, to say the least of it, to have prayers, civilities, sermon, blessing "God save the Queen," a speech from the incumbent, vociferous cheers and laughter from the crowd, in the church, and a speech returning thanks dragged out of the Duke by the said cheers, all one on the top of the other. Then came luncheon, where I liked my neighbour, Archdeacon Evans. And so home again before 4. Went into the village with Lou, and liked the people we saw. Then arrived the Edward Howards, and I was scandalized by these undutiful nephews calling their uncle Peter ! Lively whist.
12Sep1864, A Lovely Ride
HOLKER, September 12th, 1864.
—F. and I, Lou and Eddy, had a lovely ride "round by Bigland," whence the view over the Lake mountains was beautiful, in the soft light, with purple shadows. Switzerland has not a bit spoilt these hills for me ; they stand majestically on the horizon, instead of rising up sheer above one, as abroad ; and perhaps this makes one invest them with height and dignity. I rode Snap of happy Rotten Row memory. We got upon the sands at Roudsea, and had blissful gallops.
—F. and I, Lou and Eddy, had a lovely ride "round by Bigland," whence the view over the Lake mountains was beautiful, in the soft light, with purple shadows. Switzerland has not a bit spoilt these hills for me ; they stand majestically on the horizon, instead of rising up sheer above one, as abroad ; and perhaps this makes one invest them with height and dignity. I rode Snap of happy Rotten Row memory. We got upon the sands at Roudsea, and had blissful gallops.
10Sep1864, Refinements of Whist
HOLKER, September 10th, 1864.
—Whist in the evening : I am getting some gleams of light about its refinements, to my satisfaction.
—Whist in the evening : I am getting some gleams of light about its refinements, to my satisfaction.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
07Sep1864, My Past, My Present, and My Future
Volume IX - DIARY, SEPTEMBER 1864 — MAY 1866
HOLKER, September 7th, 1864.—The beginning of this book is a solemn thing to me ; for how little I can tell or conjecture how much I may be altered, and how much may have happened, before the end ! Of course it was always a sealed thing to me, but, on the threshold of a new and untried life, the veil over the future seems closer than ever. But I cannot now feel oppressed, as I did at first, in thinking of all that was new. For, as I have often said and thought, my past, my present, and my future, are all bathed in sunshine, which but for my own faults and weaknesses would be entirely unclouded.
HOLKER, September 7th, 1864.—The beginning of this book is a solemn thing to me ; for how little I can tell or conjecture how much I may be altered, and how much may have happened, before the end ! Of course it was always a sealed thing to me, but, on the threshold of a new and untried life, the veil over the future seems closer than ever. But I cannot now feel oppressed, as I did at first, in thinking of all that was new. For, as I have often said and thought, my past, my present, and my future, are all bathed in sunshine, which but for my own faults and weaknesses would be entirely unclouded.
31Aug1864, The Poor People Were Charming
BOLTON, Wednesday, August 31st, 1864.
—No going to luncheon again, but another thorough duty-doing in the way of visits : Fairfield and Beamsley Hall were the gentry, and both have had the treat of receiving Fred's and my elegant cards which delight my heart. Freddy shot well to-day : 17½ br. The poor people we saw were charming : I bought some lemon drops and barley sugar in one cottage, and we were regaled with oatcake and milk, so that a good deal of the time was spent in eating. I announced that I cd not bake oatcake. "Ay, ye're nobbut a young wife." All the neighbourhood seems to have heard of Fred's wonderful bag the 1st dogging day : 35½ brace. They say his marriage has done him good ! One old woman bade Lou and me tell "Markis he mun dance in a peck," as his younger brother has married first ! Mr. Lionel Ashley came, and made my hair stand on end at dinner by announcing that he had just heard for the 1st time of Keble and the "Xtian Year" ! ! !
—No going to luncheon again, but another thorough duty-doing in the way of visits : Fairfield and Beamsley Hall were the gentry, and both have had the treat of receiving Fred's and my elegant cards which delight my heart. Freddy shot well to-day : 17½ br. The poor people we saw were charming : I bought some lemon drops and barley sugar in one cottage, and we were regaled with oatcake and milk, so that a good deal of the time was spent in eating. I announced that I cd not bake oatcake. "Ay, ye're nobbut a young wife." All the neighbourhood seems to have heard of Fred's wonderful bag the 1st dogging day : 35½ brace. They say his marriage has done him good ! One old woman bade Lou and me tell "Markis he mun dance in a peck," as his younger brother has married first ! Mr. Lionel Ashley came, and made my hair stand on end at dinner by announcing that he had just heard for the 1st time of Keble and the "Xtian Year" ! ! !
28Aug1864, A Book by Newman
BOLTON, 14th Sunday after Trinity, August 28th, 1864.
—Church only in the morning, as we lost our way and so prolonged the aftn. walk. Mr. Robinson preached excellently on the 10 lepers. We walked on to Hazlewood and Bolton Park. F. and I had a dear little sit after the walk, talking, and reading the evening 2nd Lesson and Psalms, and a little "Christian Year." Before luncheon I read him Tennyson's new poem, "Enoch Arden," which we both liked extremely : I think I shd put it next to "Guinevere." Letter to Atie. Pussy. I have just read a book which Newman has written in answer to a very feeble and spiteful attack on him by Kingsley. The title is "Apologia pro vita suâ," and it is an account of his religious opinions and what led him to Rome. I was often beyond my depth ; but I think I see something of the principle which influenced him, viz. that Unity is more to be valued than pure doctrine ; and he got into a dilemma between Rome on the one hand and scepticism on the other. He is as little controversial as is possible and defends none of the great errors, except indirectly. It is written very fairly and modestly ; and in his beautiful clear style.
—Church only in the morning, as we lost our way and so prolonged the aftn. walk. Mr. Robinson preached excellently on the 10 lepers. We walked on to Hazlewood and Bolton Park. F. and I had a dear little sit after the walk, talking, and reading the evening 2nd Lesson and Psalms, and a little "Christian Year." Before luncheon I read him Tennyson's new poem, "Enoch Arden," which we both liked extremely : I think I shd put it next to "Guinevere." Letter to Atie. Pussy. I have just read a book which Newman has written in answer to a very feeble and spiteful attack on him by Kingsley. The title is "Apologia pro vita suâ," and it is an account of his religious opinions and what led him to Rome. I was often beyond my depth ; but I think I see something of the principle which influenced him, viz. that Unity is more to be valued than pure doctrine ; and he got into a dilemma between Rome on the one hand and scepticism on the other. He is as little controversial as is possible and defends none of the great errors, except indirectly. It is written very fairly and modestly ; and in his beautiful clear style.
19Aug1864, The Fat World and a Pamphlet by Banting
BOLTON, Friday, August 19th, 1864.
—All the fat world are dieting themselves with wonderful thinning effect after a plan recommended in a pamphlet by Mr. Banting, whose name is already shining in the firmament of fame.
—All the fat world are dieting themselves with wonderful thinning effect after a plan recommended in a pamphlet by Mr. Banting, whose name is already shining in the firmament of fame.
12Aug1864, First Day's Grouse Shooting
BOLTON, Friday, August 12th, 1864.
—Fine warm day ; grey but not hazy. It is delightful to me seeing this place again : I remember some of the moors by name. Father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband all went off for the 1st day's grouse shooting. After writing to M., sitting a little in the garden, and receiving with Lou a visit from the Robinsons, she and I drove in the pony-carriage to Brass Castle and had luncheon with the shooters, prostrate grouse at our feet. Very nice. We dawdled a little among the blossoming ling before coming home ; then went up the terrace ; tea and talk, and I read Edinburgh Review. About 7½ home they came, my Fred having shot the most birds, viz. 35½ brace : Cavendish looked dejected, having only killed 20 brace.
—Fine warm day ; grey but not hazy. It is delightful to me seeing this place again : I remember some of the moors by name. Father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband all went off for the 1st day's grouse shooting. After writing to M., sitting a little in the garden, and receiving with Lou a visit from the Robinsons, she and I drove in the pony-carriage to Brass Castle and had luncheon with the shooters, prostrate grouse at our feet. Very nice. We dawdled a little among the blossoming ling before coming home ; then went up the terrace ; tea and talk, and I read Edinburgh Review. About 7½ home they came, my Fred having shot the most birds, viz. 35½ brace : Cavendish looked dejected, having only killed 20 brace.
09Aug1864, A Day Without Fred
HOLKER, Tuesday, August 9th, 1864.
—The 1st day I have spent without Fred, who went off at 9 with the Duke on Furness railway business, and was not back till nearly 8. I did miss him very much ! but it was almost worth the break of seeing him come back. And I made great strides in sisterly intimacy with dear Lou who took me before luncheon round the park, and afterwards driving to Old Park, Holker Bank and Beale, and on the sands. I have blundered the names, I fear. Also she took me to a consumptive son of Mrs. Abbotson. She took me about the house, and I made acquaintance with Fred's old room, her sitting-room, the Duke's, etc., and looked at the pictures of them all done when they were children ; the little boy who died must have been a darling. I tidied some of my possessions, which talk to me of Hagley ; filling my writing-box. At tea in Lou's snug room at 6, began first to shake off some of my strangeness : she is very nice. Was horror-struck at being late for dinner !
—The 1st day I have spent without Fred, who went off at 9 with the Duke on Furness railway business, and was not back till nearly 8. I did miss him very much ! but it was almost worth the break of seeing him come back. And I made great strides in sisterly intimacy with dear Lou who took me before luncheon round the park, and afterwards driving to Old Park, Holker Bank and Beale, and on the sands. I have blundered the names, I fear. Also she took me to a consumptive son of Mrs. Abbotson. She took me about the house, and I made acquaintance with Fred's old room, her sitting-room, the Duke's, etc., and looked at the pictures of them all done when they were children ; the little boy who died must have been a darling. I tidied some of my possessions, which talk to me of Hagley ; filling my writing-box. At tea in Lou's snug room at 6, began first to shake off some of my strangeness : she is very nice. Was horror-struck at being late for dinner !
Monday, January 26, 2009
08Aug1864, Home to Fred's Home
HOLKER, Monday, August 8th, 1864.—Another of the great days of which I seem lately to have had so many : my 1st arrival at Fred's own old home, Holker. There was some heart-pinch in leaving old Hagley thus, in the middle of the summer holy-days, and driving away, all the dear faces watching us off from the perron, and Newmany from the nursery window. But I could not be sad ! and the words that ran in my head when I stood in the new home explain why : "Thy people shall be my people." My home is where my Fred is. We arrived at Cark about 5 ; and near where a new school is being built, a knot of men took the horses out and drew us fast up to the house, cheering. I could enjoy this, as it was for F. and not for me ; I cd see it went very much to his heart. He made me stand up with him in the carriage when we stopped at the house door, and holding my hand, said, "My friends, I thank you for yr hearty welcome of my wife home to Holker." How they cheered ! The Duke and Lou met us in the hall, and the Duke kissed me. We had tea in the conservatory, and afterwards walked up Bigland Scar whence the view delighted me beyond anything I expected. We sat there, and I drunk it in, wondering when all wd be familiar to me ! The evening made me a little shy and bewildered.
05Aug1864, Learning Glynnese Glossary
HAGLEY, Friday, August 5th, 1864.
—I had a capital ride with Lavinia and Bob. Butler, Carlyle, and Glynnese Glossary [FN: For which see Appendix A.] with Fred ! Said Fred is getting on buckish and familiar terms with M., to my delight.
—I had a capital ride with Lavinia and Bob. Butler, Carlyle, and Glynnese Glossary [FN: For which see Appendix A.] with Fred ! Said Fred is getting on buckish and familiar terms with M., to my delight.
04Aug1864, Fred Doing the Agreeable
HAGLEY, Thursday, August 4th, 1864.
—Dinner party of Rogerses, Walriges, Mr. Stayner, Mr. Gambier Parry : too mad Papa hooking me in to dinner, Albert presiding at the head of the table, Granny making the "moving bow" to me, and Fred doing the agreeable to Mrs. Walrige ! I put on my dear Queen's necklace and Cavendish's [FN: She underlines this : presumably because it is the first time she calls her formidable brother-in-law, Lord Hartington, by his family name. He began life as Lord Cavendish] beautiful bracelet ; and a lovely trousseau gown ; but I felt I looked just like Lucy Lyttelton, nevertheless.
—Dinner party of Rogerses, Walriges, Mr. Stayner, Mr. Gambier Parry : too mad Papa hooking me in to dinner, Albert presiding at the head of the table, Granny making the "moving bow" to me, and Fred doing the agreeable to Mrs. Walrige ! I put on my dear Queen's necklace and Cavendish's [FN: She underlines this : presumably because it is the first time she calls her formidable brother-in-law, Lord Hartington, by his family name. He began life as Lord Cavendish] beautiful bracelet ; and a lovely trousseau gown ; but I felt I looked just like Lucy Lyttelton, nevertheless.
30Jul1864, Return to Hagley
HAGLEY, Saturday, July 30th, 1864.
—Bewildering, bustling morning, combining packums, shoppums, letterums, and interviews with my 2 new brothers, and with the Mesdames Talbot, who turned up unbeknown as I was sitting exhausted in my petticoat waiting to be robed in smart array for going home. For so you still are, and so in one sense you ever will be, through whatever changed eyes I see you, dear, dear old Hagley ! We arrived about 7, and were greeted by a village reception, as M. was. Cheers, flags, and triumphal arches and an address read by Stephens. It all went deep into me—all the familiar sights and faces overpowering me too—and when we got out upon the old perron, I was trembling all over. Then my Fred made a little speech, thanking them so well and heartily. I held his hand all the while.
—Bewildering, bustling morning, combining packums, shoppums, letterums, and interviews with my 2 new brothers, and with the Mesdames Talbot, who turned up unbeknown as I was sitting exhausted in my petticoat waiting to be robed in smart array for going home. For so you still are, and so in one sense you ever will be, through whatever changed eyes I see you, dear, dear old Hagley ! We arrived about 7, and were greeted by a village reception, as M. was. Cheers, flags, and triumphal arches and an address read by Stephens. It all went deep into me—all the familiar sights and faces overpowering me too—and when we got out upon the old perron, I was trembling all over. Then my Fred made a little speech, thanking them so well and heartily. I held his hand all the while.
Friday, January 23, 2009
29Jul1864, Back to Devonshire House
LONDON, Friday, July 29th, 1864.
—Devonshire House is a little wonderful to arrive at ! Greatly we appreciated cream, chops that were mutton, toast, brown bread !
—Devonshire House is a little wonderful to arrive at ! Greatly we appreciated cream, chops that were mutton, toast, brown bread !
20Jul1864, A Fairy-land Dream
STRESA, Wednesday, July 20th, 1864.
—This hotel (des Iles Borromées) is in keeping with everything else here, by being unlike anything I have yet come across ; deliciously cool, with its stone floors, high rooms, and spotless cleanliness : hardly so much as a whiff of tobacco to be met with ! We sat blinking at the lovely blue lake, blue mountains, blue sky, for some time on the balcony. At 5½, we went in an open boat, shaded by an awning, to the Borromeo Palace, and round the other island. The most delightful afternoon of luxurious enjoyment ! The palace and terraces, the glorious tropic flowers and trees, and the all-surrounding loveliness of the view from the island, was like a Fairy-land dream. I have not seen my old Fred so enchanted before. Then we rowed about, watching the golden sunset light up all the hazy mountains, sky, and water with tender light. I am getting hideously mawkish and sentimental ; so will change the subject, and end with the fact which is the real culminating point of all our delight in this perfect place :
No Fleas !
—This hotel (des Iles Borromées) is in keeping with everything else here, by being unlike anything I have yet come across ; deliciously cool, with its stone floors, high rooms, and spotless cleanliness : hardly so much as a whiff of tobacco to be met with ! We sat blinking at the lovely blue lake, blue mountains, blue sky, for some time on the balcony. At 5½, we went in an open boat, shaded by an awning, to the Borromeo Palace, and round the other island. The most delightful afternoon of luxurious enjoyment ! The palace and terraces, the glorious tropic flowers and trees, and the all-surrounding loveliness of the view from the island, was like a Fairy-land dream. I have not seen my old Fred so enchanted before. Then we rowed about, watching the golden sunset light up all the hazy mountains, sky, and water with tender light. I am getting hideously mawkish and sentimental ; so will change the subject, and end with the fact which is the real culminating point of all our delight in this perfect place :
No Fleas !
10Jul1864, No Dissolution!
CHAMOUNIX, 7th Sunday after Trinity, July 10th, 1864.
—Behold ! a telegram from the Duke, with the news that there will be no dissolution, Government having a majority of 18. This evening F. has spouted to me Layard's admirable defence of Ld. Russell's policy, which one wd think must have influenced votes. I am come to a pretty pass, when I find myself crowing over the Whig victory !
—Behold ! a telegram from the Duke, with the news that there will be no dissolution, Government having a majority of 18. This evening F. has spouted to me Layard's admirable defence of Ld. Russell's policy, which one wd think must have influenced votes. I am come to a pretty pass, when I find myself crowing over the Whig victory !
09Jul1864, Bits of Coleridge
CHAMOUNIX, Saturday, July 9th, 1864.
—Spouted to Fred some bits of Coleridge's "Hymn in the Vale of Chamounix," which he liked. We have no telegram to-day, and have some faint hope.
—Spouted to Fred some bits of Coleridge's "Hymn in the Vale of Chamounix," which he liked. We have no telegram to-day, and have some faint hope.
07Jul1864, Walked, Ridden, Driven, and Railwayd
MARTIGNY, Thursday, July 7th, 1864.
—The day month since our marriage. A month of ever-deepening happiness, just now of a peculiar brightness and absence of care : a sort of rocking on bright waves before launching out upon new seas—which I know is never to come again ; but as long as this wonderful sunshine is poured round me—I mean the great, new sunshine of our love for each other—all the coming waves must look bright to me ; as the past ones have the golden radiance of memory upon them. Only may all such light and joy lead us nearer to God.
We rode and walked in lovely weather to Camballas ; there, having leisure, sat in the flowery long grass, and read "Westward Ho !" and had milk and bread and butter ; then a most lovely drive down the deep rich valley des Ormondes to Aigle in the valley of the Rhone. Here we walked up a moderately high, but nearly perpendicular hill, and enjoyed a sight of Lake Leman and some noble mountain-tops ; then had dinner, and went on by railway to Martigny ; having to-day therefore walked, ridden, driven, and railwayd. Got into a bus at Martigny crammed with English folk, but they don't seem to overrun this hotel. Why does one hate and despise nearly all one's fellow-countrymen abroad ?
—The day month since our marriage. A month of ever-deepening happiness, just now of a peculiar brightness and absence of care : a sort of rocking on bright waves before launching out upon new seas—which I know is never to come again ; but as long as this wonderful sunshine is poured round me—I mean the great, new sunshine of our love for each other—all the coming waves must look bright to me ; as the past ones have the golden radiance of memory upon them. Only may all such light and joy lead us nearer to God.
We rode and walked in lovely weather to Camballas ; there, having leisure, sat in the flowery long grass, and read "Westward Ho !" and had milk and bread and butter ; then a most lovely drive down the deep rich valley des Ormondes to Aigle in the valley of the Rhone. Here we walked up a moderately high, but nearly perpendicular hill, and enjoyed a sight of Lake Leman and some noble mountain-tops ; then had dinner, and went on by railway to Martigny ; having to-day therefore walked, ridden, driven, and railwayd. Got into a bus at Martigny crammed with English folk, but they don't seem to overrun this hotel. Why does one hate and despise nearly all one's fellow-countrymen abroad ?
05Jul1864, No More Maidlessness
THUN, Tuesday, July 5th, 1864.
. . . Then by fly and steamboat through Interlaken to Thun, where it was a little refreshing after 4 days' maidlessness, makeshifts, and packing for oneself, to find Holffmann and Morgan ; also a magnificent suite of rooms, and a landlord in an ecstasy of bows, who introduced me to the pretty verandah, saying it was at the disposal of my Excellency ! ! ! Last not least, delightful letters from Atie. P., Lou, Lavinia, At. Emy, M., and one from Mrs. Bruce, inviting F. and me to luncheon at Windsor "de part la Reine," on Saturday, June 26 !
. . . Then by fly and steamboat through Interlaken to Thun, where it was a little refreshing after 4 days' maidlessness, makeshifts, and packing for oneself, to find Holffmann and Morgan ; also a magnificent suite of rooms, and a landlord in an ecstasy of bows, who introduced me to the pretty verandah, saying it was at the disposal of my Excellency ! ! ! Last not least, delightful letters from Atie. P., Lou, Lavinia, At. Emy, M., and one from Mrs. Bruce, inviting F. and me to luncheon at Windsor "de part la Reine," on Saturday, June 26 !
02Jul1864, Through Alpine Snow
MEYRINGEN, Saturday, July 2nd, 1864.
—A perfect, serene, summer day, with such hot sun, that we are as red as turkey-cocks this evening. We left Engelberg (n.b. unbitten by a single flea) at 6½ and went by the Joch Pass to Meyringen, resting for about 2 hours at a little chalet inn, which, though on the descent from the mountain, is 6,000 feet above the sea. We reached it about 12. I set off from Engelberg riding a pony, which carried me wonderfully up a tremendous mountain-side, of which I only got off at the steepest bit. We got once into clouds, but emerged from them into more and more glorious beauty. Coming to a glacier-stream, my pony thought proper to lie down in it and roll with me ! and soon after this we came to such deep patches of snow that I walked the rest of the way. We were often up to our knees, ascending considerably all the time, and I am not a little proud of my first great mountain-climb. It is such pleasure among these glorious Alps never to be disappointed. After our longest pull through snow, I was enough tired by the exertion, and thirsty withal, actually to enjoy and be refreshed by some of F.'s nasty kirchwasser mixed with snow ! Changing of boots (which were soaked), washing of feet, an excellent little dinner of soup, cutlets, omelette, bread and butter and ice-cold water, and a nice sit on the grass letting the beauty of the mountains sink into my heart, cured me of all tire. From the inn to Meyringen (Hotel Sauvage) I rode most of the way. To-night we have anointed our sun-burnt phizzes with milk and lemon. We are in a fix, a bag with clean things from Lucerne not having turned up.
—A perfect, serene, summer day, with such hot sun, that we are as red as turkey-cocks this evening. We left Engelberg (n.b. unbitten by a single flea) at 6½ and went by the Joch Pass to Meyringen, resting for about 2 hours at a little chalet inn, which, though on the descent from the mountain, is 6,000 feet above the sea. We reached it about 12. I set off from Engelberg riding a pony, which carried me wonderfully up a tremendous mountain-side, of which I only got off at the steepest bit. We got once into clouds, but emerged from them into more and more glorious beauty. Coming to a glacier-stream, my pony thought proper to lie down in it and roll with me ! and soon after this we came to such deep patches of snow that I walked the rest of the way. We were often up to our knees, ascending considerably all the time, and I am not a little proud of my first great mountain-climb. It is such pleasure among these glorious Alps never to be disappointed. After our longest pull through snow, I was enough tired by the exertion, and thirsty withal, actually to enjoy and be refreshed by some of F.'s nasty kirchwasser mixed with snow ! Changing of boots (which were soaked), washing of feet, an excellent little dinner of soup, cutlets, omelette, bread and butter and ice-cold water, and a nice sit on the grass letting the beauty of the mountains sink into my heart, cured me of all tire. From the inn to Meyringen (Hotel Sauvage) I rode most of the way. To-night we have anointed our sun-burnt phizzes with milk and lemon. We are in a fix, a bag with clean things from Lucerne not having turned up.
01Jul1864, Travel Plans Get Complicated
ENGELBERG, Friday, July 1st, 1864.
—We had meant to leave Lucerne at 5.15 and go by the passes of Furca and Grimsel to Mayenwand, but soon after four the voice of dear Holffmann was heard at the door, announcing that the weather wouldn't do ; and as it was hideous to think of going such an expedition in pouring rain, we gave it up : and after yesterday's proceedings did not break our hearts at having 3 hours more in bed. By breakfast time, complication upon complication arose upon us. In the 1st place, behold Morgan upset by her travels and pronounced by the quizzical little doctor unfit to move till Monday ; in the next place, Fred at last getting hold of a Times only 2 days old, discovers that the motion of vote of want of confidence isn't to come off till Monday, which leaves us pretty safe till this day week, and makes it necessary for us to re-cast all the arrangements for next week ; in the 3rd place we had let slip the early steamboats, and it seemed impossible to get away from Lucerne so as to fit in a church-going place for Sunday. Under these cheerful circumstances, I sat composedly down to write to At. C., while old Fred, whose head never fails, evolved ideal plans by slow degrees out of Murray and Bradshaw. The upshot is, that we leave Morgan to get well under the auspices of Holffmann and the doctor, and come here alone with 2 bags, i.e., Engelberg. We drove from Stanz, all up a most glorious valley, towered over by mighty mountains. No rooms in the inn but 2 tiny unpainted garrets at the top of the house, which we are now occupying, F. conjuring up horrible visions of fleas, and imagining scores running over his legs already.
—We had meant to leave Lucerne at 5.15 and go by the passes of Furca and Grimsel to Mayenwand, but soon after four the voice of dear Holffmann was heard at the door, announcing that the weather wouldn't do ; and as it was hideous to think of going such an expedition in pouring rain, we gave it up : and after yesterday's proceedings did not break our hearts at having 3 hours more in bed. By breakfast time, complication upon complication arose upon us. In the 1st place, behold Morgan upset by her travels and pronounced by the quizzical little doctor unfit to move till Monday ; in the next place, Fred at last getting hold of a Times only 2 days old, discovers that the motion of vote of want of confidence isn't to come off till Monday, which leaves us pretty safe till this day week, and makes it necessary for us to re-cast all the arrangements for next week ; in the 3rd place we had let slip the early steamboats, and it seemed impossible to get away from Lucerne so as to fit in a church-going place for Sunday. Under these cheerful circumstances, I sat composedly down to write to At. C., while old Fred, whose head never fails, evolved ideal plans by slow degrees out of Murray and Bradshaw. The upshot is, that we leave Morgan to get well under the auspices of Holffmann and the doctor, and come here alone with 2 bags, i.e., Engelberg. We drove from Stanz, all up a most glorious valley, towered over by mighty mountains. No rooms in the inn but 2 tiny unpainted garrets at the top of the house, which we are now occupying, F. conjuring up horrible visions of fleas, and imagining scores running over his legs already.
30Jun1864, A Day in the Mountains
RIGI, Thursday, June 30th, 1864.
—We got up soon after 3, and went to the highest point to see the sunrise. The morning was somewhat misty and the sun had to surmount a bank or two of cloud, so that this was not the greatest thing we saw to-day ; still it was very lovely to see the giant peaks brightening one after the other, and those in the W. catching the faint pink reflection. All had a look to me of standing around, waiting for the light. We nearly died of the cold. Had breakfast, and set off walking down the mountain about 6 ; and this soon warmed one. And now we were steeped in glorious sights. The day grew clear and serene, and only white fleecy clouds floated among the snowy mountain-tops. The climax was a certain view we had when a little way down we sat on the grass for a good while. We drank it in at our leisure ; and it went deeper into my heart than anything has yet done. Such a communing with God's glorious works is a mysterious sort of worship, or something very akin to it ; for "He in His strength setteth fast the mountains, and is girded about with power." All the descent was beautiful, but this was the crown, for the day went off, and the deep, soft blue of the atmosphere became grey ; and the Jung Frau and her neighbours vanished, and Pilatus put on his invariable cap of clouds. But I have seen enough ! and moreover am a little tired.
—We got up soon after 3, and went to the highest point to see the sunrise. The morning was somewhat misty and the sun had to surmount a bank or two of cloud, so that this was not the greatest thing we saw to-day ; still it was very lovely to see the giant peaks brightening one after the other, and those in the W. catching the faint pink reflection. All had a look to me of standing around, waiting for the light. We nearly died of the cold. Had breakfast, and set off walking down the mountain about 6 ; and this soon warmed one. And now we were steeped in glorious sights. The day grew clear and serene, and only white fleecy clouds floated among the snowy mountain-tops. The climax was a certain view we had when a little way down we sat on the grass for a good while. We drank it in at our leisure ; and it went deeper into my heart than anything has yet done. Such a communing with God's glorious works is a mysterious sort of worship, or something very akin to it ; for "He in His strength setteth fast the mountains, and is girded about with power." All the descent was beautiful, but this was the crown, for the day went off, and the deep, soft blue of the atmosphere became grey ; and the Jung Frau and her neighbours vanished, and Pilatus put on his invariable cap of clouds. But I have seen enough ! and moreover am a little tired.
29Jun1864, To Earth With a Bump
RIGI, Wednesday, June 29th, 1864. S. Peter.
—I can't say much about it ; but it is true, I do believe, as F. said to me, when I said I dreaded my usual fate of being to some degree disappointed, that the great glories of nature cannot disappoint one. They seem to come too near Heaven. And so I found it as I looked from the top of the Rigi. The hotel quite at the top with its swarms of cockneys, table d'hôte, and scrubby allowance of washing apparatus, brought one to earth with a bump. We came upstairs after the table d'hôte, and laughed till we ached at some charming snobs who sat opposite to us at dinner. So cold, we sat in cloaks.
—I can't say much about it ; but it is true, I do believe, as F. said to me, when I said I dreaded my usual fate of being to some degree disappointed, that the great glories of nature cannot disappoint one. They seem to come too near Heaven. And so I found it as I looked from the top of the Rigi. The hotel quite at the top with its swarms of cockneys, table d'hôte, and scrubby allowance of washing apparatus, brought one to earth with a bump. We came upstairs after the table d'hôte, and laughed till we ached at some charming snobs who sat opposite to us at dinner. So cold, we sat in cloaks.
26Jun1864, Dissolution Anxiety
MAYENCE, 5th Sunday after Trinity, June 26th, 1864.
—We wrote letters, and went through a "crise" of dissolution anxiety on the strength of a paper announcement that the Conservatives meet on Tuesday. The Duke is to telegraph next Friday to F., if necessary.
That I should have come to wish the Conservatives at the bottom of the Baltic ! Having written letters and read the aft. Psalms and Lessons, it cleared delightfully and we had a nice tramp about the town and public gardens, and into the wonderful, rich, peculiar Cathedral, which struck us immensely. Looking into another church, we found service going on in German, and the crowded congregation responding loudly in Litany fashion ; a thing I did not know was usual in R. C. services, at which the cong. generally only assists. After dinner F. read aloud Trench's 2 fine 1st sermons on "the subjection of the creature to Vanity."
—We wrote letters, and went through a "crise" of dissolution anxiety on the strength of a paper announcement that the Conservatives meet on Tuesday. The Duke is to telegraph next Friday to F., if necessary.
That I should have come to wish the Conservatives at the bottom of the Baltic ! Having written letters and read the aft. Psalms and Lessons, it cleared delightfully and we had a nice tramp about the town and public gardens, and into the wonderful, rich, peculiar Cathedral, which struck us immensely. Looking into another church, we found service going on in German, and the crowded congregation responding loudly in Litany fashion ; a thing I did not know was usual in R. C. services, at which the cong. generally only assists. After dinner F. read aloud Trench's 2 fine 1st sermons on "the subjection of the creature to Vanity."
24Jun1864, Honeymoon Part 2 Continues
COLOGNE, Friday, June 24th, 1864. S. John Baptist.
—We have been over the glorious Cathedral, and have streamed a little about the town, making one feeble effort to get an ice at a café which was too insufferable with smoke and too low altogether for us to stop in it. I am great audience to the wonderful, clear, bright atmosphere, and all the manners and customs. We have bought two cases of eau-de-Cologne, which I trust will turn out the genuine thing.
—We have been over the glorious Cathedral, and have streamed a little about the town, making one feeble effort to get an ice at a café which was too insufferable with smoke and too low altogether for us to stop in it. I am great audience to the wonderful, clear, bright atmosphere, and all the manners and customs. We have bought two cases of eau-de-Cologne, which I trust will turn out the genuine thing.
23Jun1864, Ice in June - A Princely Idea
BRUSSELS, Thursday, June 23rd, 1864.
—We breakfasted at 7, and set off directly afterwards ; I first going to Lou in bed to say good-bye. We shall be lucky if we are not posting back again for the election in a fortnight or less ! We crossed to Calais, the sea rather rough, and the boat rolling a good deal : I was perfectly well, but poor old Fred, after sitting meek and silent beside me, getting whiter and whiter, succumbed once about of an hour before the boat came in. The landing, the railway, the people, and all the look of things carried me back wonderfully to our delightful Paris trip in 1860 : little I thought then of all this state of things ! We had a charming luncheon at Calais. Got here about 7 : all new to both Fred and me. We have an affable courier called Holffman, who ordered us a sublime fly and pair at the station, and for dinner we two had soup, fish, beef, cutlets, chicken, salad, ice ! ! ! ! Steps must be taken to cut down these princely ideas.
—We breakfasted at 7, and set off directly afterwards ; I first going to Lou in bed to say good-bye. We shall be lucky if we are not posting back again for the election in a fortnight or less ! We crossed to Calais, the sea rather rough, and the boat rolling a good deal : I was perfectly well, but poor old Fred, after sitting meek and silent beside me, getting whiter and whiter, succumbed once about of an hour before the boat came in. The landing, the railway, the people, and all the look of things carried me back wonderfully to our delightful Paris trip in 1860 : little I thought then of all this state of things ! We had a charming luncheon at Calais. Got here about 7 : all new to both Fred and me. We have an affable courier called Holffman, who ordered us a sublime fly and pair at the station, and for dinner we two had soup, fish, beef, cutlets, chicken, salad, ice ! ! ! ! Steps must be taken to cut down these princely ideas.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
21Jun1864, And So Ends Our Honeymoon
BOLTON, Tuesday, June 21st, 1864.
—And so ends our honeymoon.
It is a bewildering, but by no means unhappy thought, that we shall probably be here again for the grouse shooting in 7 or 8 weeks ! We arrived at Devn. House soon after 6. To dinner came Grauntcoque and then J. G. T.'s,[FN: I.e. the J. G. Talbots, her sister and brother-in-law.] then afterwards Atie. P. and Agnes. Which was very nice. The Duke, sons and daughters, and Ld. Richard also dined. When all my own people had gone, and I found myself left in this big house with Cavendishes, I underwent my first actual feeling of home-sickness. A very gentle one, and soon absorbed in the new, deep feeling which is growing downward, downward into my heart. Found certain tardy presents. We have fine big rooms looking over the park.
—And so ends our honeymoon.
It is a bewildering, but by no means unhappy thought, that we shall probably be here again for the grouse shooting in 7 or 8 weeks ! We arrived at Devn. House soon after 6. To dinner came Grauntcoque and then J. G. T.'s,[FN: I.e. the J. G. Talbots, her sister and brother-in-law.] then afterwards Atie. P. and Agnes. Which was very nice. The Duke, sons and daughters, and Ld. Richard also dined. When all my own people had gone, and I found myself left in this big house with Cavendishes, I underwent my first actual feeling of home-sickness. A very gentle one, and soon absorbed in the new, deep feeling which is growing downward, downward into my heart. Found certain tardy presents. We have fine big rooms looking over the park.
18Jun1864, Off in an Open Fly and Pair
BOLTON, Saturday, June 18th, 1864.
— A very delightful, long, happy day. We set off in an open fly and pair soon after 10½, and drove up the valley past Borden and Grass Wood, to Elmsey Crag, and then to Gordale. This was new to Fred as well as to me, and how we enjoyed the glorious things together ! Lovely glorifying weather. From Gordale we walked to Malham, where we had a charming luncheon at the, little inn, and then walked to Malham Cove. The long drive home very nice : we have done abt 36 miles. It is wonderful how the returning each time into this dear peaceful valley brings to me already a happy homelike feeling. Yet I have only been here one week. I think it can only be because I am beginning to find that wherever I am with Fred, there home comes to me. Such a thought of bright repose it is.
— A very delightful, long, happy day. We set off in an open fly and pair soon after 10½, and drove up the valley past Borden and Grass Wood, to Elmsey Crag, and then to Gordale. This was new to Fred as well as to me, and how we enjoyed the glorious things together ! Lovely glorifying weather. From Gordale we walked to Malham, where we had a charming luncheon at the, little inn, and then walked to Malham Cove. The long drive home very nice : we have done abt 36 miles. It is wonderful how the returning each time into this dear peaceful valley brings to me already a happy homelike feeling. Yet I have only been here one week. I think it can only be because I am beginning to find that wherever I am with Fred, there home comes to me. Such a thought of bright repose it is.
17Jun1864, His American Life
BOLTON, Friday, June 17th, 1864.
—F. told me about his American life, and how he killed 2 buffaloes, which made me proud of him !
—F. told me about his American life, and how he killed 2 buffaloes, which made me proud of him !
14Jun1864, Honeymoon Books
BOLTON, Tuesday, June 14th, 1864.
—Grey, misty day ! but among these hills even such an atmosphere has some grand effects. We have at last tackled to at some books F. chose for the honeymoon : rather an odd trio ! Carlyle's "Fr. Revolution," Butler's "Analogy," and "Westward Ho !" Had a nice little brisk walk before luncheon : afterwards drove very pleasantly to Barden Tower, plunged on foot down a little deep gorge near it to see a waterfall, and old Fred gave me a little lecture on ferns which grew thick all about it. Then on to Broad Park moor, and round by Halton Heights. Often it rained, but we didn't take much notice.
—Grey, misty day ! but among these hills even such an atmosphere has some grand effects. We have at last tackled to at some books F. chose for the honeymoon : rather an odd trio ! Carlyle's "Fr. Revolution," Butler's "Analogy," and "Westward Ho !" Had a nice little brisk walk before luncheon : afterwards drove very pleasantly to Barden Tower, plunged on foot down a little deep gorge near it to see a waterfall, and old Fred gave me a little lecture on ferns which grew thick all about it. Then on to Broad Park moor, and round by Halton Heights. Often it rained, but we didn't take much notice.
13Jun1864, A Summer Saunter
BOLTON, Monday, June 13th, 1864.
—Delightfully fine on the whole. We went a nice little saunter to the wooden bridge before luncheon. Mr. and Mrs. Robinson called, which brought over me a fresh attack of who's who and what's what especially when Mrs. R. was glad "Lady Frederick" saw the place to advantage ! After luncheon we set off to go to Simon's Seat, I riding a fat dun pony, F. walking. It was the first time I was ever on a moor and very grand and striking it was ; contrasting too with the lovely, luxuriant wood, still blue with hyacinths, from which we emerged upon it. Got home a little before 7½. Snug evening. At nearly the top of Simon's Seat we were caught in the fragment of a thunderstorm, which was rather grand. Shelterd in one of the luncheon huts, which I shall remember, methinks, if we come here, as we hope to do, for the August shooting. Can it be me I am writing about ?
—Delightfully fine on the whole. We went a nice little saunter to the wooden bridge before luncheon. Mr. and Mrs. Robinson called, which brought over me a fresh attack of who's who and what's what especially when Mrs. R. was glad "Lady Frederick" saw the place to advantage ! After luncheon we set off to go to Simon's Seat, I riding a fat dun pony, F. walking. It was the first time I was ever on a moor and very grand and striking it was ; contrasting too with the lovely, luxuriant wood, still blue with hyacinths, from which we emerged upon it. Got home a little before 7½. Snug evening. At nearly the top of Simon's Seat we were caught in the fragment of a thunderstorm, which was rather grand. Shelterd in one of the luncheon huts, which I shall remember, methinks, if we come here, as we hope to do, for the August shooting. Can it be me I am writing about ?
11Jun1864, Smashing the Ice
BOLTON, Saturday, June 11th, 1864.
—Left pretty Chiswick, which has been perfect for these first few days, and drove back to London. We went first to Devonshire House, where we saw the Duke, Lou and Eddy (I may as well smash the ice at once !), and then to St. St., where we saw Grauntcoque , Atie. P., Papa and Meriel, and I found the seeing them rather strange and upsetting : feeling that it wasn't me. Also was taken out of at none of them but Papa looking very bright. M.'s dots have got the whooping-cough. We stayed about ½ an hour, and then went off ; and arrived here about 8. Drove under a tiny triumphal arch, with " Welcome to Bolton " on it. I felt more wonderful and bewildered than ever ! but Oh the green, still loveliness of the place in the evening light, with the sound of the running river in one's ears. And then, there is Fred to make my very bewilderment a sort of happiness. Really tired I was.
—Left pretty Chiswick, which has been perfect for these first few days, and drove back to London. We went first to Devonshire House, where we saw the Duke, Lou and Eddy (I may as well smash the ice at once !), and then to St. St., where we saw Grauntcoque , Atie. P., Papa and Meriel, and I found the seeing them rather strange and upsetting : feeling that it wasn't me. Also was taken out of at none of them but Papa looking very bright. M.'s dots have got the whooping-cough. We stayed about ½ an hour, and then went off ; and arrived here about 8. Drove under a tiny triumphal arch, with " Welcome to Bolton " on it. I felt more wonderful and bewildered than ever ! but Oh the green, still loveliness of the place in the evening light, with the sound of the running river in one's ears. And then, there is Fred to make my very bewilderment a sort of happiness. Really tired I was.
10Jun1864, Spouting Literature
CHISWICK, Friday, June 10th, 1864.
—The rain has only beautified and brightened the delightful weather. We sat out, spouted "In Memoriam" ; and he, to me, Canning's "Letter from Lord Russell to Lord Cavendish," which was after F.'s own heart, with its liberty and patriotism-ums. Also Carlyle. Walked in the Horticultural Gardens after luncheon. Wrote, and talked, and were very peaceful.
—The rain has only beautified and brightened the delightful weather. We sat out, spouted "In Memoriam" ; and he, to me, Canning's "Letter from Lord Russell to Lord Cavendish," which was after F.'s own heart, with its liberty and patriotism-ums. Also Carlyle. Walked in the Horticultural Gardens after luncheon. Wrote, and talked, and were very peaceful.
09Jun1864, My Pretty New Name
CHISWICK, Thursday, June 9th, 1864.
—I have received my first letters with my pretty new name, from Atie. P., M., Agnes, and At. C. We have begun "Westward Ho !" and Carlyle's "Fr. Revolution" ; also I spouted to Fred the "Allegro" and the "Penseroso," and other bits of poetry ; and I don't find him entirely un¬worthy.
—I have received my first letters with my pretty new name, from Atie. P., M., Agnes, and At. C. We have begun "Westward Ho !" and Carlyle's "Fr. Revolution" ; also I spouted to Fred the "Allegro" and the "Penseroso," and other bits of poetry ; and I don't find him entirely un¬worthy.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
07Jun1864, Our Wedding Day
CHISWICK, Tuesday, June 7th, 1864.
—Our wedding day. I cannot write about it. I can only look backwards with loving regret, and forward with bright but trembling hope. We were married in Westminster Abbey, by Uncle Billy, and came here [FN: The Duke of Devonshire's house at Chiswick in which both Fox and Canning died. It is now the property of the Municipality.] about 4 o'clock, into peaceful summer loveliness and the singing of birds.
—Our wedding day. I cannot write about it. I can only look backwards with loving regret, and forward with bright but trembling hope. We were married in Westminster Abbey, by Uncle Billy, and came here [FN: The Duke of Devonshire's house at Chiswick in which both Fox and Canning died. It is now the property of the Municipality.] about 4 o'clock, into peaceful summer loveliness and the singing of birds.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
05Jun1864, Gifts from Papa
LONDON, 2nd Sunday after Trinity, June 5th, 1864.
—Beautiful warm day, and 0 such a refreshing and peaceful one ! In the Holy Communion I tried to lay down all this past life of mine at the foot of the Cross, and I trust that all the sins and neglects are forgiven, and that the never-failing blessing will be outpoured upon the future. And this hushed and calmd all my anxieties. It was at the Temple, whither I walked with At. C., joining Papa and Lavinia, and coming back with Papa, which was very nice. I had told Fred not to come : I wanted to be with Papa : but his not being with me did not signify, for he received the Holy Communion ; and that draws us together in the most blessed way. Papa and I found him in St. St., and we went with him to luncheon at Dev. House. Afterwards such a nice talk ; he told me much of the sermon of Maurice's he had heard. Papa brought me his cross, with these words engraved inside. On the transverse, my new name, which I can't yet write ; then : "From her loving Father, June 7th, 1864. In Memory and in Hope." And he gave Fred a Communion book, in which he wrote the last verse of the "Christian Year" on Marriage.
—Beautiful warm day, and 0 such a refreshing and peaceful one ! In the Holy Communion I tried to lay down all this past life of mine at the foot of the Cross, and I trust that all the sins and neglects are forgiven, and that the never-failing blessing will be outpoured upon the future. And this hushed and calmd all my anxieties. It was at the Temple, whither I walked with At. C., joining Papa and Lavinia, and coming back with Papa, which was very nice. I had told Fred not to come : I wanted to be with Papa : but his not being with me did not signify, for he received the Holy Communion ; and that draws us together in the most blessed way. Papa and I found him in St. St., and we went with him to luncheon at Dev. House. Afterwards such a nice talk ; he told me much of the sermon of Maurice's he had heard. Papa brought me his cross, with these words engraved inside. On the transverse, my new name, which I can't yet write ; then : "From her loving Father, June 7th, 1864. In Memory and in Hope." And he gave Fred a Communion book, in which he wrote the last verse of the "Christian Year" on Marriage.
30May1864, Riding the Donkey-cart
LONDON, Monday, May 30th, 1864.
—Bright lovely morning, with lights and shades. Our departure [FN: From Falconhurst, where they had been staying with the Talbots.] was comical : some hitch in fly-orders resulted in a necessity for some couple or other to go to the station in the donkey-cart ! It was decided that F. and I were the least likely to mind taking an hour going the 4½ miles ; so we drove off in triumph, I conducting and the Mesds. Talbot looking on in convulsions of laughter. It was a little trying being a gazing-stock to the beauty and fashion of Edenbridge as we hirpled through.
—Bright lovely morning, with lights and shades. Our departure [FN: From Falconhurst, where they had been staying with the Talbots.] was comical : some hitch in fly-orders resulted in a necessity for some couple or other to go to the station in the donkey-cart ! It was decided that F. and I were the least likely to mind taking an hour going the 4½ miles ; so we drove off in triumph, I conducting and the Mesds. Talbot looking on in convulsions of laughter. It was a little trying being a gazing-stock to the beauty and fashion of Edenbridge as we hirpled through.
27May1864, Bewilderment
LONDON, Friday, May 27th, 1864.
—F. came soon after 11, after I had undergone a little course of trousseau worrits, and we had a snug little sit together to compose me. At times the bewilderment of all the unknown new clothes, and the vague state of mind I get into as to where they will all go to, and what new place I myself am going to, make my poor addled head spin ; but through it all, the sunshine is bright over the future ! The days go slowly by, and the wonderful new life still feels very distant.
—F. came soon after 11, after I had undergone a little course of trousseau worrits, and we had a snug little sit together to compose me. At times the bewilderment of all the unknown new clothes, and the vague state of mind I get into as to where they will all go to, and what new place I myself am going to, make my poor addled head spin ; but through it all, the sunshine is bright over the future ! The days go slowly by, and the wonderful new life still feels very distant.
26May1864, Did a Shy Thing
LONDON, Thursday, May 26th, 1864.
—Did a shy thing in the evening : dined all by myself at Devn. House, meeting only the Duke, Ly. Louisa, F., and Ld. Edward. They were kind and nice, setting me at my ease ; but I cd not quite say I was at my ease ! though very happy after dinner with my Fred holding my hand. Lord E. very taking and pleasant. Came home in a ducal brougham, and read the Guardian till 11¼.
—Did a shy thing in the evening : dined all by myself at Devn. House, meeting only the Duke, Ly. Louisa, F., and Ld. Edward. They were kind and nice, setting me at my ease ; but I cd not quite say I was at my ease ! though very happy after dinner with my Fred holding my hand. Lord E. very taking and pleasant. Came home in a ducal brougham, and read the Guardian till 11¼.
24May1864, Luncheon at Devonshire House
LONDON, Tuesday, May 24th, 1864.
—Bright and fine. The Queen's birthday was kept for the first time since the Prince's death : plenty of illuminations. My Fred came about 1, and took me to luncheon at Devonshire House, which I was glad of in spite of being rather shy, as it got me over some more first steps of acquaintance. I am hardly shy at all with Ly. Louisa now ; my chief awe centres round Lord Hartington, who is very kind to me, however. At luncheon were Mrs. Coke, Emma and May Lascelles. Afterwards F. and I went to Garrard's and got a pretty crystal locket with an emerald cross on it, for Atie. P. to have our hair in. At Dev. House, Papa turned up and gave me a beautiful large gold cross, in which I shall have his dear hair and Mamma's. At 5¼, F. and I, with Willie and Agnes for chaperons ! rode in Rotten Row ; and I thought of our last ride at Hagley. I was on a charming little horse of Ly. L.'s called Snap.
—Bright and fine. The Queen's birthday was kept for the first time since the Prince's death : plenty of illuminations. My Fred came about 1, and took me to luncheon at Devonshire House, which I was glad of in spite of being rather shy, as it got me over some more first steps of acquaintance. I am hardly shy at all with Ly. Louisa now ; my chief awe centres round Lord Hartington, who is very kind to me, however. At luncheon were Mrs. Coke, Emma and May Lascelles. Afterwards F. and I went to Garrard's and got a pretty crystal locket with an emerald cross on it, for Atie. P. to have our hair in. At Dev. House, Papa turned up and gave me a beautiful large gold cross, in which I shall have his dear hair and Mamma's. At 5¼, F. and I, with Willie and Agnes for chaperons ! rode in Rotten Row ; and I thought of our last ride at Hagley. I was on a charming little horse of Ly. L.'s called Snap.
22May1864, He Has Music In Him
LONDON, Trinity Sunday, May 22nd, 1864.
—After luncheon came Fred, who had been to hear Maurice, and told me some beautiful bits of his sermon. And I read him the " Xtian Year " for the day, and some other verses, and played him some hymn tunes, which he liked enough to show me he has music in him. [FN: A romantic delusion ! (added later).]
—After luncheon came Fred, who had been to hear Maurice, and told me some beautiful bits of his sermon. And I read him the " Xtian Year " for the day, and some other verses, and played him some hymn tunes, which he liked enough to show me he has music in him. [FN: A romantic delusion ! (added later).]
Thursday, January 15, 2009
20May1864, I Did District for the Last Time
HAGLEY, Friday, May 20th, 1864.
—Fine and a little cooled by the storm. I began the day before prayers with letters : went with Fred at 10 to see old Mary Page, Charlotte Rogers, and Mrs. Reid (only taking him in to see old Mary). Mrs. Reid said she "wished she cd flog the mon off !" Then church ; then we had a delightful last ride by Clent to Fairleigh Coppice and home round Clent Hill and thro' the middle of the park. Daphne gave me a riding-whip. I did district for the last time, driving there with At. E. and the little boys. Evening service, and sermon by Uncle Billy for Ember evn. 0 when shall I be in my dear, dear little church again ! Elly called me to her room afterwards to give me a Bible and Prayer Book in one from all the under servants. This quite finished me. But I can't write about this last day at home. The last time I shall sleep in this little room ! God's love and blessing rest upon all, and follow me. I thank Him for all my happy years. My heart is full.
—Fine and a little cooled by the storm. I began the day before prayers with letters : went with Fred at 10 to see old Mary Page, Charlotte Rogers, and Mrs. Reid (only taking him in to see old Mary). Mrs. Reid said she "wished she cd flog the mon off !" Then church ; then we had a delightful last ride by Clent to Fairleigh Coppice and home round Clent Hill and thro' the middle of the park. Daphne gave me a riding-whip. I did district for the last time, driving there with At. E. and the little boys. Evening service, and sermon by Uncle Billy for Ember evn. 0 when shall I be in my dear, dear little church again ! Elly called me to her room afterwards to give me a Bible and Prayer Book in one from all the under servants. This quite finished me. But I can't write about this last day at home. The last time I shall sleep in this little room ! God's love and blessing rest upon all, and follow me. I thank Him for all my happy years. My heart is full.
18May1864, His Funny Inability
HAGLEY, Wednesday, May 18th, 1864.
—Very sultry : no view. After church I went (upon Charger) with F. to see old Mrs. Billingham ; thence thro' Wychbury wood, all blue with hyacinths, down into the Stourbridge road by Sparry's hill. I went to see poor, poor Sophy Price, and was shockd and upset at the change in her, and her terrible sufferings. Repeated to her the words, "Come unto Me," etc., and cheered her a little ; but felt deeply how little able I shd be to bear such a cross, and how I am walking in sunshine amid so much sorrow and darkness. We sat on the lawn afterwards, and in the afternoon on the grass in Whistlewail ; and "sweet converse" lightened my heart again : but it is right it shd now and then be overshadowed. Fred read aloud to me, with fervour and feeling enough to counteract the slight disadvantage of his funny inability to pronounce either "r" or "th," Uncle Wm.'s startling speech in favour of extended suffrage ; also his (F.'s) own speech at Leeds last year, which delighted me more by its cleverness and eloquence than it scandalized me by its radicalism ! Some time after dinner with our heads out of window ; then whist. At. C. came. At an American anti-slavery bit in his speech, he trembled with excitement.
—Very sultry : no view. After church I went (upon Charger) with F. to see old Mrs. Billingham ; thence thro' Wychbury wood, all blue with hyacinths, down into the Stourbridge road by Sparry's hill. I went to see poor, poor Sophy Price, and was shockd and upset at the change in her, and her terrible sufferings. Repeated to her the words, "Come unto Me," etc., and cheered her a little ; but felt deeply how little able I shd be to bear such a cross, and how I am walking in sunshine amid so much sorrow and darkness. We sat on the lawn afterwards, and in the afternoon on the grass in Whistlewail ; and "sweet converse" lightened my heart again : but it is right it shd now and then be overshadowed. Fred read aloud to me, with fervour and feeling enough to counteract the slight disadvantage of his funny inability to pronounce either "r" or "th," Uncle Wm.'s startling speech in favour of extended suffrage ; also his (F.'s) own speech at Leeds last year, which delighted me more by its cleverness and eloquence than it scandalized me by its radicalism ! Some time after dinner with our heads out of window ; then whist. At. C. came. At an American anti-slavery bit in his speech, he trembled with excitement.
16May1864, Ride to Kinver Edge
HAGLEY, Whit Monday, May 16th, 1864.
—At ¼5, F. and I went a glorious ride on to Kinver Edge (v. p. 196 (from Lady Lucy) [FN: See the entry for April 4th.] (from the editor) : I little thought then of who shd ride with me there to-day !) We came to the hurdle whereat I tumbled off, and F. wouldn't let me try again, which indeed I rather "funked." The view from the top was more lovely than I have ever seen it : we stopped a good while looking at it, F. so much pleased ! Were not home till 7½ : luckily dinner was at 8. We sat together very happily afterwards.
—At ¼5, F. and I went a glorious ride on to Kinver Edge (v. p. 196 (from Lady Lucy) [FN: See the entry for April 4th.] (from the editor) : I little thought then of who shd ride with me there to-day !) We came to the hurdle whereat I tumbled off, and F. wouldn't let me try again, which indeed I rather "funked." The view from the top was more lovely than I have ever seen it : we stopped a good while looking at it, F. so much pleased ! Were not home till 7½ : luckily dinner was at 8. We sat together very happily afterwards.
15May1864, Peace and Brightness
HAGLEY, Whitsunday, May 15th, 1864.
—A day of great peace and brightness. Oh, such a lovely, radiant morning ! a thing in itself to return thanks for, so much it added of happiness. We received the Holy Communion together in my own dear church. Afterwards sat on octagon bench ; quite silent, but how happy ! Then came the Rectors to see him ; and after luncheon we sat with her on the lawn. I had my class in the morning : 0 dear ! had to tell them it was the last time ; but I made short work of it, for fear of crying.
—A day of great peace and brightness. Oh, such a lovely, radiant morning ! a thing in itself to return thanks for, so much it added of happiness. We received the Holy Communion together in my own dear church. Afterwards sat on octagon bench ; quite silent, but how happy ! Then came the Rectors to see him ; and after luncheon we sat with her on the lawn. I had my class in the morning : 0 dear ! had to tell them it was the last time ; but I made short work of it, for fear of crying.
14May1864, Back Home at Hagley
HAGLEY, Saturday, May 14th, 1864.
—We had high tea at ¼5, F. coming ; and soon after 6, he and I, Atie. P. and Papa left London, and now I am writing in my own dear little room at home. Elly, Newmany, and Shirtliffe greeted us ; and I have been to see my little boys in bed. I can't write much to-night : all feels strange and altered to me, and my heart is rather heavy. F. and I stood at the dear library window, looking out into the soft dewy night, sweet with chestnut blossom ; and it did me good to stand there with him, saying next to nothing.
—We had high tea at ¼5, F. coming ; and soon after 6, he and I, Atie. P. and Papa left London, and now I am writing in my own dear little room at home. Elly, Newmany, and Shirtliffe greeted us ; and I have been to see my little boys in bed. I can't write much to-night : all feels strange and altered to me, and my heart is rather heavy. F. and I stood at the dear library window, looking out into the soft dewy night, sweet with chestnut blossom ; and it did me good to stand there with him, saying next to nothing.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
13May1864, Good-byes are Sad Matters
WINDSOR, Friday, May 13th, 1864.
—Very fine and warm. My old boys Spencer and Arthur [FN: Then at Eton.] came to see me ; Nevy, not being well, could not, alas ! I had only a little time with them, but it was very nice. I went to St. George's : wonder whether or when I shall go to church there again. Saw Mrs. Wellesley afterwards for a minute. Wrote, wrote, wrote. My Fred sent me a dear little scratch, though we only parted yesterday at 4¼. And he has got one from me. I don't know when we shall next write to each other. The Prss. of Wales came at 1½ and we received her at the door. After luncheon the Queen sent for me to say good-bye, and I hope I shall never forget what passed. She came towards me with a beautiful Indian shawl and a jewel-case in her hands : kissed me, and gave them to me with many kind words about her regret that I was going, and her good wishes for me. She kissed me again and again, saying she thought and felt the more for me because I had no mother. The ornament she gave me was a beautiful amethyst locket bordered with pearls ; on it a little diamond cross. [FN: Alas ! stolen many years after (Note in original).] Speaking of the cross, she said, "It is an emblem of what I have to bear day after day," and added something which I cannot bear to put down here in words, but which sunk deep into my heart. I thanked her as well as I was able ; kissed her dear hand many times, and began to cry ! how could one help it ? I didn't wish to help it ; but went up to my room, and had it out. Then came good-byes to the Princesses, with whom was the Prss. of Wales playing a duet with Prss. Helena. All spoke kindly and said good-bye ; and 0 dear ! good-byes are sad matters.
. . . Now I have come home from a great family dinner and party at Devonshire House, to which I went with Papa : Gladstones and Talbots, and Grauntecoque [FN: I.e. "Granny" and "Aunt Coque," who lived together.] also coming. (N.B.—I must mention somewhere that Uncle W. has kicked up a gt dust by declaring in the House in favour of universal suffrage ! ! ! out-Brighting Bright. F., I grieve to say, is delighted.) This sounds very formidable ; but, except a few qualms, I didn't find it so. Everybody was very kind ; and perhaps I don't mind anything when Fred is with me.
—Very fine and warm. My old boys Spencer and Arthur [FN: Then at Eton.] came to see me ; Nevy, not being well, could not, alas ! I had only a little time with them, but it was very nice. I went to St. George's : wonder whether or when I shall go to church there again. Saw Mrs. Wellesley afterwards for a minute. Wrote, wrote, wrote. My Fred sent me a dear little scratch, though we only parted yesterday at 4¼. And he has got one from me. I don't know when we shall next write to each other. The Prss. of Wales came at 1½ and we received her at the door. After luncheon the Queen sent for me to say good-bye, and I hope I shall never forget what passed. She came towards me with a beautiful Indian shawl and a jewel-case in her hands : kissed me, and gave them to me with many kind words about her regret that I was going, and her good wishes for me. She kissed me again and again, saying she thought and felt the more for me because I had no mother. The ornament she gave me was a beautiful amethyst locket bordered with pearls ; on it a little diamond cross. [FN: Alas ! stolen many years after (Note in original).] Speaking of the cross, she said, "It is an emblem of what I have to bear day after day," and added something which I cannot bear to put down here in words, but which sunk deep into my heart. I thanked her as well as I was able ; kissed her dear hand many times, and began to cry ! how could one help it ? I didn't wish to help it ; but went up to my room, and had it out. Then came good-byes to the Princesses, with whom was the Prss. of Wales playing a duet with Prss. Helena. All spoke kindly and said good-bye ; and 0 dear ! good-byes are sad matters.
. . . Now I have come home from a great family dinner and party at Devonshire House, to which I went with Papa : Gladstones and Talbots, and Grauntecoque [FN: I.e. "Granny" and "Aunt Coque," who lived together.] also coming. (N.B.—I must mention somewhere that Uncle W. has kicked up a gt dust by declaring in the House in favour of universal suffrage ! ! ! out-Brighting Bright. F., I grieve to say, is delighted.) This sounds very formidable ; but, except a few qualms, I didn't find it so. Everybody was very kind ; and perhaps I don't mind anything when Fred is with me.
12May1864, My Last Regal Journey
WINDSOR, Thursday, May 12th, 1864.
—Very fine and warm. I am glad to have slept here [FN: I.e. Buckingham Palace.] once. Have managed a good deal of Court experience since my apptmt. Breakfasted with Prss. Helena and Co. and then got leave to go to Carlton Terrace. F. came as before ! A little tiresome trying on ; and Ld. Geo. Quin came his own self with a pretty little clock for me under his arm. After luncheon, F. and I went (with Atie. P.. and Ly. Louisa) to be photographed together by Mr. Window. I fear we shall look like fools. Then back to C.H.T. [FN: Carlton House Terrace, the Gladstones' house.]; then I plunged into a Royal carriage, joined Prss. and Co. at Paddington, and had my last regal journey. Am tired ! but very happy.
—Very fine and warm. I am glad to have slept here [FN: I.e. Buckingham Palace.] once. Have managed a good deal of Court experience since my apptmt. Breakfasted with Prss. Helena and Co. and then got leave to go to Carlton Terrace. F. came as before ! A little tiresome trying on ; and Ld. Geo. Quin came his own self with a pretty little clock for me under his arm. After luncheon, F. and I went (with Atie. P.. and Ly. Louisa) to be photographed together by Mr. Window. I fear we shall look like fools. Then back to C.H.T. [FN: Carlton House Terrace, the Gladstones' house.]; then I plunged into a Royal carriage, joined Prss. and Co. at Paddington, and had my last regal journey. Am tired ! but very happy.
11May1864, The Queen's Second Court
LONDON, Wednesday, May 11th, 1864.
—We all came up to London for the Queen's 2nd Court : a very small one, but very striking and imposing. It was held at Buckingham Palace. People may carp and sneer at the poor Queen for keeping on her mourning, but everyone must have thought her dress to-day most suitable and becoming. The gown was trimmed deeply on the skirt with crape, but was cut square, with white up to the throat ; long hanging sleeves. Her cap was Marie Stuart, showing her hair turned back, and with a row of pearls round the border ; broad white lappets reaching to the feet ; and she wore the Garter ribbon with a diamond brooch on the shoulder, a star, and a great pearl necklace in many rows. Altogether she looked just as a widowed Queen holding a State ceremonial ought to look. And it was beautiful to see her manner and her dear smile. The Princess of Wales looked terribly thin and pale, in deep black ; must be wretched at the reverses of the Danes, who have just lost Duppel. I had the honour of seeing the tiny Prince, [FN: Prince Albert Victor, afterwards Duke of Clarence.] the Queen sending for us to her room, where he was visiting her. A nice thriving-looking plump baby, with bright blue eyes, delicate features and pointed chin ; a nose that will be aquiline, I shd think, and a likeness to both parents. A very intelligent way of looking at one. He cried a good deal, poor fellow, being sleepy. At the reception, the D. of Argyll came and shook hands with me, saying very kindly, "I am so glad to have you for a cousin." After it, I had a snug visit in my room at B. Palace from At. C. and the girls. At. C. brought me a lovely little ring with a pearl cross. Then to Carlton Terrace, where I found Fred ; then pleasant talk with him ; a visit from C. Ebbett ; back to B. Palace for dinner with Prss. Helena, Ly. Carolina, and Emily. Then a grand concert, held by the Prince and Prss. of Wales. This was a dream of delight, though the music wasn't all good ! I sat with Papa for the 1st part, shooting F. before very long coming into the room, looking very nice in uniform, and peering about for me in vain for a long time. But at last I caught his eye ; and it was so very pleasant to see his dear face light up when that happened ! He got up to me after the 1st part. We ran through a tremendous tilt of congratulations. Saw At. Y. Was very, very happy. Slept at Buckingham Palace, attending on Princess Helena.
—We all came up to London for the Queen's 2nd Court : a very small one, but very striking and imposing. It was held at Buckingham Palace. People may carp and sneer at the poor Queen for keeping on her mourning, but everyone must have thought her dress to-day most suitable and becoming. The gown was trimmed deeply on the skirt with crape, but was cut square, with white up to the throat ; long hanging sleeves. Her cap was Marie Stuart, showing her hair turned back, and with a row of pearls round the border ; broad white lappets reaching to the feet ; and she wore the Garter ribbon with a diamond brooch on the shoulder, a star, and a great pearl necklace in many rows. Altogether she looked just as a widowed Queen holding a State ceremonial ought to look. And it was beautiful to see her manner and her dear smile. The Princess of Wales looked terribly thin and pale, in deep black ; must be wretched at the reverses of the Danes, who have just lost Duppel. I had the honour of seeing the tiny Prince, [FN: Prince Albert Victor, afterwards Duke of Clarence.] the Queen sending for us to her room, where he was visiting her. A nice thriving-looking plump baby, with bright blue eyes, delicate features and pointed chin ; a nose that will be aquiline, I shd think, and a likeness to both parents. A very intelligent way of looking at one. He cried a good deal, poor fellow, being sleepy. At the reception, the D. of Argyll came and shook hands with me, saying very kindly, "I am so glad to have you for a cousin." After it, I had a snug visit in my room at B. Palace from At. C. and the girls. At. C. brought me a lovely little ring with a pearl cross. Then to Carlton Terrace, where I found Fred ; then pleasant talk with him ; a visit from C. Ebbett ; back to B. Palace for dinner with Prss. Helena, Ly. Carolina, and Emily. Then a grand concert, held by the Prince and Prss. of Wales. This was a dream of delight, though the music wasn't all good ! I sat with Papa for the 1st part, shooting F. before very long coming into the room, looking very nice in uniform, and peering about for me in vain for a long time. But at last I caught his eye ; and it was so very pleasant to see his dear face light up when that happened ! He got up to me after the 1st part. We ran through a tremendous tilt of congratulations. Saw At. Y. Was very, very happy. Slept at Buckingham Palace, attending on Princess Helena.
10May1864, Shoppums Finds Lockets for the Bridesmaids
WINDSOR, Tuesday, May 10th, 1864.
—I went off to London by the 9.10 train ; got Miss Sewell's "Preparation for the Holy Communion" for Princess Helena on my way to Carlton Terrace, and got there about 10½. Talked trousseau-ums and saw my wedding presents (wonderful sound !). I must make a list of them elsewhere, they will take up too much room in my journal. But I will mention the prettiest, completest little writing-table in the world from my old Maid, and a pretty inkstand (quite his own choice) from Nevy. These will come very near my heart. My Fred turned up before long and we had "sweet converse." Also multifarious shoppums : I chose an onyx signet-ring for him, to come on Saty ; and gave him to-day a crystal locket with a scratchy bit of my hair in it, with which he was certainly pleased. Ly. Louisa came after luncheon, and took us both in the carriage to Mimpriss's, where, after gt cogitation, we chose lockets for the bridesmaids, six with small pearl crosses, six with small turquoise ditto. I paid Granny a little visit ; then to M. (he also coming there), and came back here for dinner.
—I went off to London by the 9.10 train ; got Miss Sewell's "Preparation for the Holy Communion" for Princess Helena on my way to Carlton Terrace, and got there about 10½. Talked trousseau-ums and saw my wedding presents (wonderful sound !). I must make a list of them elsewhere, they will take up too much room in my journal. But I will mention the prettiest, completest little writing-table in the world from my old Maid, and a pretty inkstand (quite his own choice) from Nevy. These will come very near my heart. My Fred turned up before long and we had "sweet converse." Also multifarious shoppums : I chose an onyx signet-ring for him, to come on Saty ; and gave him to-day a crystal locket with a scratchy bit of my hair in it, with which he was certainly pleased. Ly. Louisa came after luncheon, and took us both in the carriage to Mimpriss's, where, after gt cogitation, we chose lockets for the bridesmaids, six with small pearl crosses, six with small turquoise ditto. I paid Granny a little visit ; then to M. (he also coming there), and came back here for dinner.
09May1864, I Like Royal Travelling Excedingly!
WINDSOR, Monday, May 9th, 1864.
—Heavy rain in the morning : no sun all day. I left Osborne with all the "serrement de Coeur" that such a good-bye to a place full of associations can give. I daresay I shall never see it again. And I have had peaceful days here, amid the greenness and sunshine, and singing of birds : "golden hours," too, those two days that he was with me, and his dear letters to be treasured all my life. I like Royal travelling excedingly ! The crossing was pleasant though rather cold. Most of the time I spent capping verses with the Princesses and poor little Prince Leopold, who made great play with "To be or not to be." How the arrival at Windsor did bring to my mind my days of—doing what he asked me at Stafford House to do ! I was greeted by such a dear letter ; also a very charming one from old Nevy. The sight of Miss Cathcart ! who's who and what's what ! She had to rig me out for the evening, one of my boxes hanging fire. Ly. Biddulph dined, and chaffed me very unmercifully, but I didn't mind one bit. Dear Ly. Caroline congratulated me.
—Heavy rain in the morning : no sun all day. I left Osborne with all the "serrement de Coeur" that such a good-bye to a place full of associations can give. I daresay I shall never see it again. And I have had peaceful days here, amid the greenness and sunshine, and singing of birds : "golden hours," too, those two days that he was with me, and his dear letters to be treasured all my life. I like Royal travelling excedingly ! The crossing was pleasant though rather cold. Most of the time I spent capping verses with the Princesses and poor little Prince Leopold, who made great play with "To be or not to be." How the arrival at Windsor did bring to my mind my days of—doing what he asked me at Stafford House to do ! I was greeted by such a dear letter ; also a very charming one from old Nevy. The sight of Miss Cathcart ! who's who and what's what ! She had to rig me out for the evening, one of my boxes hanging fire. Ly. Biddulph dined, and chaffed me very unmercifully, but I didn't mind one bit. Dear Ly. Caroline congratulated me.
08May1864, No Chaperon, Heathenish
OSBORNE, Sunday after Ascension, May 8th, 1864.
—We had matins in the Council-room, an interval, and then Mrs. Bruce and I went to church for the Litany and sermon. We were late, and missed the chief part of the Litany ; and this was all my church-going, for there was no getting a chaperon in the aftn rain. Prss. Helena sent for me to play battledore and shuttlecock and we walked abt the house together. I read Trench on the Parables, but feel rather heathenish. We dined with the Queen. F. wrote a dear letter.
—We had matins in the Council-room, an interval, and then Mrs. Bruce and I went to church for the Litany and sermon. We were late, and missed the chief part of the Litany ; and this was all my church-going, for there was no getting a chaperon in the aftn rain. Prss. Helena sent for me to play battledore and shuttlecock and we walked abt the house together. I read Trench on the Parables, but feel rather heathenish. We dined with the Queen. F. wrote a dear letter.
07May1864, Poor Princess Helena
OSBORNE, Saturday, May 7th, 1864.
—Lovely spring weather. I have remembered that this is the 1st time for years that I have watched spring blossoming into summer, having always been in London. It is very nice that this wonderful year will have all this bright beauty connected with it. My letter came all right, enclosing certain verses that he repeated to me the other day : sad ones, but full of beautiful thought. They bring his voice to my ears. I sat out of doors part of the time with Prss. Helena, part of the time reading " Dynevor Terrace." Mrs. Bruce and I went to the Queen in the evening. I am much distressed about poor Prss. Helena who is cruelly overworked, the Queen having no notion how her mind and body are strained, and indeed having no one to take her place.
—Lovely spring weather. I have remembered that this is the 1st time for years that I have watched spring blossoming into summer, having always been in London. It is very nice that this wonderful year will have all this bright beauty connected with it. My letter came all right, enclosing certain verses that he repeated to me the other day : sad ones, but full of beautiful thought. They bring his voice to my ears. I sat out of doors part of the time with Prss. Helena, part of the time reading " Dynevor Terrace." Mrs. Bruce and I went to the Queen in the evening. I am much distressed about poor Prss. Helena who is cruelly overworked, the Queen having no notion how her mind and body are strained, and indeed having no one to take her place.
Monday, January 12, 2009
05May1864, Sweet Converse
OSBORNE, Ascension Day, May 5th, 1864.
—Heavy soft showers. F. came to breakfast ; then we had another little talk ; then he came to church with Mrs. Bruce and me : then again we had "sweet converse" till he had to go off with the messenger at 1½. Oh, ardent, overflowing lovingkindness is round us ! giving us these two days' happiness over and above, when already we were so very happy ! Life felt a little flat after he had vanished.
—Heavy soft showers. F. came to breakfast ; then we had another little talk ; then he came to church with Mrs. Bruce and me : then again we had "sweet converse" till he had to go off with the messenger at 1½. Oh, ardent, overflowing lovingkindness is round us ! giving us these two days' happiness over and above, when already we were so very happy ! Life felt a little flat after he had vanished.
04May1864, A Golden Day
Wednesday, May 4th, 1864.
—Grey and raining out of doors ; but what a "golden day" ! The Queen being so kind as to hold a Privy Council to-day, Ld. Granville brought Fred (who is his private secretary : have I ever said so ?) with him. And we had all the afternoon to ourselves, in the ugly little ladies' room, which will never look ugly to me again.
0 precious hours ! 0 golden prime !
The Queen and Princess Helena both saw him. I was let off a Royal walk and drive. He came to the Household dinner, after which Mrs. Bruce, Ld. Granville, a German maukin, and I were marched off to the Queen's drawing-room. But we got back in time to say good-night : he sleeps at Cowes, and comes here to breakfast. He brought me loads of kind letters to Papa, from dear Hagley neighbours, etc. Likewise a diamond betrothal ring.
—Grey and raining out of doors ; but what a "golden day" ! The Queen being so kind as to hold a Privy Council to-day, Ld. Granville brought Fred (who is his private secretary : have I ever said so ?) with him. And we had all the afternoon to ourselves, in the ugly little ladies' room, which will never look ugly to me again.
0 precious hours ! 0 golden prime !
The Queen and Princess Helena both saw him. I was let off a Royal walk and drive. He came to the Household dinner, after which Mrs. Bruce, Ld. Granville, a German maukin, and I were marched off to the Queen's drawing-room. But we got back in time to say good-night : he sleeps at Cowes, and comes here to breakfast. He brought me loads of kind letters to Papa, from dear Hagley neighbours, etc. Likewise a diamond betrothal ring.
03May1864, A Model Love Letter
OSBORNE, Tuesday, May 3rd, 1864.
—Among my congratulations this morning came, to my great astonishment, a love-lorn farewell in verse from a poor little man called P., who I had no notion cared about me ! I laughed till I nearly cried over it, and couldn't resist sending it to Fred, as a model for his further letters.
—Among my congratulations this morning came, to my great astonishment, a love-lorn farewell in verse from a poor little man called P., who I had no notion cared about me ! I laughed till I nearly cried over it, and couldn't resist sending it to Fred, as a model for his further letters.
02May1864, Springtide in My Heart
OSBORNE, Monday, May 2nd, 1864.
—The first day of really soft, balmy wind. A day with a great hole in it, for there came no letter from F., owing no doubt to the tiresome Sunday post. Mrs. Bruce, Gen. Grey, and I had a delightful drive to Carisbrooke Castle amid bright early verdure and blossoming fruit trees. Spring was never so much to me as it is now, when there is such an answering springtide in my heart.
—The first day of really soft, balmy wind. A day with a great hole in it, for there came no letter from F., owing no doubt to the tiresome Sunday post. Mrs. Bruce, Gen. Grey, and I had a delightful drive to Carisbrooke Castle amid bright early verdure and blossoming fruit trees. Spring was never so much to me as it is now, when there is such an answering springtide in my heart.
29Apr1864, Fourth Waiting Continues
OSBORNE, Friday, April 29th, 1864.
—Drove with the Queen, Prss. Helena, and Pr. Leopold to Ryde : 4 horses, equerry, 2 out-riders, and all very imposing ; but my Court bathing-feel has left me for good and all ! Poor little Prince Leopold was full of talk and cheerfulness, but his small thin face grew pinched with cold ; and I wished I cd take him into my arms and cover him warmly up. The Queen asked if F. wd come and see me at Windsor : I had no notion it wd be allowed : O how nice it wd be ! We played demure whist in the evening ; and I made 1 hideous blunder.
—Drove with the Queen, Prss. Helena, and Pr. Leopold to Ryde : 4 horses, equerry, 2 out-riders, and all very imposing ; but my Court bathing-feel has left me for good and all ! Poor little Prince Leopold was full of talk and cheerfulness, but his small thin face grew pinched with cold ; and I wished I cd take him into my arms and cover him warmly up. The Queen asked if F. wd come and see me at Windsor : I had no notion it wd be allowed : O how nice it wd be ! We played demure whist in the evening ; and I made 1 hideous blunder.
26Apr1864, First Letter From Him
OSBORNE, Tuesday, April 26th, 1864.
—Same brightness, but E. wind. I wrote 8 answers to congratulations ; all "thank you" in different forms. And I received my first letter from him : such a dear one ! grave and simple, like himself. It makes it all very real to me. What paper is it written upon but a Privy Council Office sheet, reminding me of the Garibaldi entry day ?
—Same brightness, but E. wind. I wrote 8 answers to congratulations ; all "thank you" in different forms. And I received my first letter from him : such a dear one ! grave and simple, like himself. It makes it all very real to me. What paper is it written upon but a Privy Council Office sheet, reminding me of the Garibaldi entry day ?
25Apr1864, First Letter to Fred
OSBORNE, Monday, April 25th, 1864. S. Mark.
—He came to breakfast, and we had a nice talk before he saw me off. It was horrid going away ; but as I came into the lovely blossoming country, full of spring greenness and the singing of birds, the sunshine around seemed to answer to the sunshine in my own heart ; and I think the fortnight here will have a brightness of its own. I just saw Ly. Jocelyn and Emily Cathcart on the landing-place. Mrs. Bruce met me very kindly on arriving. I wrote my first letter to Fred : 0 how strange that looks ! He won't expect it ; for I told him he shd write first ; but I thought he wd be feeling rather grim to-morrow. Mrs. Bruce and I dined with the Queen, the Princesses, and Prince Alfred ; Prince Leopold and Prss. Beatrice appearing in honour of Prss. Alice's birthday. The Queen was as kind as possible to me : saying as she kissed me, "I must congratulate you, but I must scold you a little too !" She shot my locket ! Asked who he was like, and talked some time to me after dinner.
—He came to breakfast, and we had a nice talk before he saw me off. It was horrid going away ; but as I came into the lovely blossoming country, full of spring greenness and the singing of birds, the sunshine around seemed to answer to the sunshine in my own heart ; and I think the fortnight here will have a brightness of its own. I just saw Ly. Jocelyn and Emily Cathcart on the landing-place. Mrs. Bruce met me very kindly on arriving. I wrote my first letter to Fred : 0 how strange that looks ! He won't expect it ; for I told him he shd write first ; but I thought he wd be feeling rather grim to-morrow. Mrs. Bruce and I dined with the Queen, the Princesses, and Prince Alfred ; Prince Leopold and Prss. Beatrice appearing in honour of Prss. Alice's birthday. The Queen was as kind as possible to me : saying as she kissed me, "I must congratulate you, but I must scold you a little too !" She shot my locket ! Asked who he was like, and talked some time to me after dinner.
24Apr1864, Visiting the Duke
LONDON, 4th Sunday in Easter, April 24th, 1864.
—Papa and he came after breakfast, and I went with them to Tennyson's Chapel, [FN: Was this at Archbishop Tenison's School in Leicester Square ?] where we received the Holy Communion together. May God's blessing of peace then granted us abide with us evermore ! It was so wonderfully happy praying for him then, and feeling he was praying for me. If only our whole lives may be so sanctified ! After the service we went to Devonshire House, where even the being taken to the Duke's study didn't much frighten me ! He kissed me very kindly. I also saw Ly. Fanny and Margaret Howard, Ld. Hartington, Ld. Edward ; and Ly. Louisa gave me a photogr. of the Duke, and one of Lady Burlington, [FN: Mother of Lord Frederick. She died before her husband succeeded to the Dukedom.] who must have had a look of Mamma. At 4½ I went with him and Ly. Louisa to Ly. Caroline Lascelles's, where I saw her daughter May, Lord and Ly. Chesham, and Ly. George Cavendish, who were all most kind.
—Papa and he came after breakfast, and I went with them to Tennyson's Chapel, [FN: Was this at Archbishop Tenison's School in Leicester Square ?] where we received the Holy Communion together. May God's blessing of peace then granted us abide with us evermore ! It was so wonderfully happy praying for him then, and feeling he was praying for me. If only our whole lives may be so sanctified ! After the service we went to Devonshire House, where even the being taken to the Duke's study didn't much frighten me ! He kissed me very kindly. I also saw Ly. Fanny and Margaret Howard, Ld. Hartington, Ld. Edward ; and Ly. Louisa gave me a photogr. of the Duke, and one of Lady Burlington, [FN: Mother of Lord Frederick. She died before her husband succeeded to the Dukedom.] who must have had a look of Mamma. At 4½ I went with him and Ly. Louisa to Ly. Caroline Lascelles's, where I saw her daughter May, Lord and Ly. Chesham, and Ly. George Cavendish, who were all most kind.
23Apr1864, Deepest Feeling of Happiness
LONDON, Saturday, April 23rd, 1864.
—He came to breakfast with Ly. Louisa ; after which he stayed with me till nearly one, again talking on serious subjects. He gave me the deepest feeling of happiness I have yet felt, in saying he should like to go with Papa and me to the Holy Communion to-morrow.
—He came to breakfast with Ly. Louisa ; after which he stayed with me till nearly one, again talking on serious subjects. He gave me the deepest feeling of happiness I have yet felt, in saying he should like to go with Papa and me to the Holy Communion to-morrow.
22Apr1864, Telling Mamma About It
LONDON, Friday, April 22nd, 1864.
—I had a long talk, a Sunday one, with him ; and he told me all his opinions that he thought I shd not agree with him about. I don't—but he has built his house on the Rock ; and I can't but trust him ! He dined with us, and we went to see "Henry IV" at Drury Lane, which was very delightful. The Dss. of Argyll came this morning ; and I believe now everybody knows it. Ly. Chesham sent me a beautiful ring. He brought me the locket with his hair in it, and I wore it to-night, hanging it to darling Mamma's little pearl chain. It felt to me as if I was telling her about it.
—I had a long talk, a Sunday one, with him ; and he told me all his opinions that he thought I shd not agree with him about. I don't—but he has built his house on the Rock ; and I can't but trust him ! He dined with us, and we went to see "Henry IV" at Drury Lane, which was very delightful. The Dss. of Argyll came this morning ; and I believe now everybody knows it. Ly. Chesham sent me a beautiful ring. He brought me the locket with his hair in it, and I wore it to-night, hanging it to darling Mamma's little pearl chain. It felt to me as if I was telling her about it.
21Apr1864, We Are Engaged
LONDON, Thursday, April 21st, 1864.
—A bright, serene day of inward and outward sunshine. We are engaged, and my doubts and fears have been all absorbed in the wonderful happiness and peace. "Full measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, doth He give into my bosom." I have got my 1st present : he brought it me this afternoon : a locket with diamonds and pearls, to have his hair in it. He dined here : as did my old Meriel. . . . I wrote to all my darling boys : even to my little fellows at Hagley.
—A bright, serene day of inward and outward sunshine. We are engaged, and my doubts and fears have been all absorbed in the wonderful happiness and peace. "Full measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, doth He give into my bosom." I have got my 1st present : he brought it me this afternoon : a locket with diamonds and pearls, to have his hair in it. He dined here : as did my old Meriel. . . . I wrote to all my darling boys : even to my little fellows at Hagley.
20Apr1864, Third Waiting Ends
LONDON, Wednesday, April 20th, 1864.
—Same glorious weather. I carry away with me from Windsor such a vision of stately, smiling towers basking in pure sunshine, and nature blossoming and budding all round. And there is just such a springtide beginning in my heart. The Queen went to Osborne abt 4: Ly. Caroline, Ly. Augusta and I, off duty, came to London. I dined with old Meriel, 0 so snugly ; and had the nicest of talks with her, and with Mrs. Talbot. Garibaldi dinner and party here. The Duke of Devonshire, Ly. Louisa, Lord Frederic, and Ld. Edward were here. Such a happy evening.
—Same glorious weather. I carry away with me from Windsor such a vision of stately, smiling towers basking in pure sunshine, and nature blossoming and budding all round. And there is just such a springtide beginning in my heart. The Queen went to Osborne abt 4: Ly. Caroline, Ly. Augusta and I, off duty, came to London. I dined with old Meriel, 0 so snugly ; and had the nicest of talks with her, and with Mrs. Talbot. Garibaldi dinner and party here. The Duke of Devonshire, Ly. Louisa, Lord Frederic, and Ld. Edward were here. Such a happy evening.
18Apr1864, Luxuries of Royal Travelling
WINDSOR, Monday, April 18th, 1864.
—Soon after 4, we went to London with the Princesses (Ly. Caroline, Ld. Caithness, and Mr. West also in attendance) to a Philharmonic concert at Hanover Square : music out of Shakespeare principally, and partly in honour of his tercentenary. It was very good and delightful ; and I confess I enjoyed considerably the luxuries of Royal travelling and Royal places at the concert.
—Soon after 4, we went to London with the Princesses (Ly. Caroline, Ld. Caithness, and Mr. West also in attendance) to a Philharmonic concert at Hanover Square : music out of Shakespeare principally, and partly in honour of his tercentenary. It was very good and delightful ; and I confess I enjoyed considerably the luxuries of Royal travelling and Royal places at the concert.
17Apr1864, Fears Melt Away
WINDSOR, 3rd Sunday in Easter, April 17th, 1864.
—To-day my doubts and fears (which have been many) began to melt away.
—To-day my doubts and fears (which have been many) began to melt away.
16Apr1864, My Brothers Visit Windsor
WINDSOR, Saturday, April 16th, 1864.
—My darling old boys came to tea in my room ; I having begged of Sir Thomas Biddulph unlimited eggs, etc., for them. Old Spencer was at S. George's. The little bit of home talk was very snug and refreshing, in spite of the serrement-de-coeur it gave me. I longed to tell them something of my wonderful secret ; but I could only hug them very much. I took them for a peep at the corridor ; they were in mortal dread of being caught by "Her Sacred Majesty" ; but no such thing happened.
—My darling old boys came to tea in my room ; I having begged of Sir Thomas Biddulph unlimited eggs, etc., for them. Old Spencer was at S. George's. The little bit of home talk was very snug and refreshing, in spite of the serrement-de-coeur it gave me. I longed to tell them something of my wonderful secret ; but I could only hug them very much. I took them for a peep at the corridor ; they were in mortal dread of being caught by "Her Sacred Majesty" ; but no such thing happened.
Friday, January 09, 2009
15Apr1864, I Am in a New Life
WINDSOR, Friday, April 15th, 1864.
—The quiet monotonous day, outwardly so like my 1st days of waiting, had this wonderful undertone running through it, and I am in a new life. If I could only feel more comprehensibly : see more clearly ! But I trust to God's Love for that. I wrote to my little Bob, and to Papa and Atie. P. Walked and drove with Miss Cathcart. Ly. Jocelyn is Ly.-in-Waiting. The Queen has got neuralgia in her face, and has accordingly put off the reception that was to have been to-morrow. The Duke and Duchess of Argyll came to dinner. At bedtime the dear kind little Duchess took me to her room, and kissed me, and said how good he was. 0 that I may deserve it all !
—The quiet monotonous day, outwardly so like my 1st days of waiting, had this wonderful undertone running through it, and I am in a new life. If I could only feel more comprehensibly : see more clearly ! But I trust to God's Love for that. I wrote to my little Bob, and to Papa and Atie. P. Walked and drove with Miss Cathcart. Ly. Jocelyn is Ly.-in-Waiting. The Queen has got neuralgia in her face, and has accordingly put off the reception that was to have been to-morrow. The Duke and Duchess of Argyll came to dinner. At bedtime the dear kind little Duchess took me to her room, and kissed me, and said how good he was. 0 that I may deserve it all !
14Apr1864, Foolish and Bewildered
WINDSOR, Thursday, April 14th, 1864.
—Ld. Frederic came to breakfast. After luncheon Ly. Louisa came to see me. I strive to lean entirely on the Loving Hand which has led me all my life long until now, and has ordered this for me. But I seem frightened, in spite of the strange happiness. God make it right for me ! God guide me in my decision ! I am so foolish and bewildered. It is a thought full of peace that I am surrounded with many prayers. I came here, where all feels dreamlike to me. Darling Meriel came to Carlton Terrace, saw Ly. Louisa, and took me to the station.
—Ld. Frederic came to breakfast. After luncheon Ly. Louisa came to see me. I strive to lean entirely on the Loving Hand which has led me all my life long until now, and has ordered this for me. But I seem frightened, in spite of the strange happiness. God make it right for me ! God guide me in my decision ! I am so foolish and bewildered. It is a thought full of peace that I am surrounded with many prayers. I came here, where all feels dreamlike to me. Darling Meriel came to Carlton Terrace, saw Ly. Louisa, and took me to the station.
13Apr1864, A Memorable Evening
Wednesday, April 13th, 1864.
—W.E.G.'s dined at Stafford House, to meet Garibaldi : We went there in the evening. And it was to be a never-to-be-forgotten evening to me.
—W.E.G.'s dined at Stafford House, to meet Garibaldi : We went there in the evening. And it was to be a never-to-be-forgotten evening to me.
12Apr1864, Luncheon with Garibaldi
LONDON, Tuesday, April 12th, 1864.
—I bkfasted in Geo. St., whence, to my delight, I was summoned by Atie. P., an invitation to a Chiswick luncheon given to Garibaldi having been sent to me. So I saw the great man close ; and was immensely struck by his simple dignity of manner during the trying process of being introduced to different people by the Dow. Dss. of Sutherland. One saw his mind was too great and humble for shyness. I had a very happy afternoon. Ld. Frederic (who was at Chiswick) came to high tea with us, and thence with us to the Adelphi, where "Leah" was acted.
—I bkfasted in Geo. St., whence, to my delight, I was summoned by Atie. P., an invitation to a Chiswick luncheon given to Garibaldi having been sent to me. So I saw the great man close ; and was immensely struck by his simple dignity of manner during the trying process of being introduced to different people by the Dow. Dss. of Sutherland. One saw his mind was too great and humble for shyness. I had a very happy afternoon. Ld. Frederic (who was at Chiswick) came to high tea with us, and thence with us to the Adelphi, where "Leah" was acted.
11Apr1864, Garibaldi Arrives
LONDON, Monday, April 11th, 1864.
—We spent a notable aftn in a window of the Privy Council Office ; Atie. P., Agnes, and I, with Ld. Frederic and Mr. Palgrave, waiting to see Garibaldi pass, on his way to Stafford House, which takes him in. We waited, and so did the great crowd that had assembled, till 6½, when at last, some time after a long procession of Working Men's Clubs and societies, with banners, had passed, the great man appeared in a carriage-and-six, wearing a blue-and-red cloak and wideawake. I suppose such a scene as has greeted him has never before been known, and never could be but in England. All the working people, of their own free will and enthusiasm, turned out in his honour ; nobody directed or controlled them (very few policemen), and to be sure it is grand to feel and see the perfect trust that may be placed in the mighty free action of Englishmen and their sympathy with what is high-minded and disinterested. They poured and flocked round the carriage, shaking hands, waving hats and handkerchiefs ; and he was accompanied all up the street by unbroken cheers. We were tolerably knocked up, even I ; yet I with Mary and Helen went after dinner to the Bishop of London's, to hear a woman read (not particularly well) passages (mostly beautiful) from Shakespeare, Tennyson, etc. The W.E.G.'s afterwds to Stafford House to meet Garibaldi ; poor Aggie to bed.
—We spent a notable aftn in a window of the Privy Council Office ; Atie. P., Agnes, and I, with Ld. Frederic and Mr. Palgrave, waiting to see Garibaldi pass, on his way to Stafford House, which takes him in. We waited, and so did the great crowd that had assembled, till 6½, when at last, some time after a long procession of Working Men's Clubs and societies, with banners, had passed, the great man appeared in a carriage-and-six, wearing a blue-and-red cloak and wideawake. I suppose such a scene as has greeted him has never before been known, and never could be but in England. All the working people, of their own free will and enthusiasm, turned out in his honour ; nobody directed or controlled them (very few policemen), and to be sure it is grand to feel and see the perfect trust that may be placed in the mighty free action of Englishmen and their sympathy with what is high-minded and disinterested. They poured and flocked round the carriage, shaking hands, waving hats and handkerchiefs ; and he was accompanied all up the street by unbroken cheers. We were tolerably knocked up, even I ; yet I with Mary and Helen went after dinner to the Bishop of London's, to hear a woman read (not particularly well) passages (mostly beautiful) from Shakespeare, Tennyson, etc. The W.E.G.'s afterwds to Stafford House to meet Garibaldi ; poor Aggie to bed.
09Apr1864, Viewing Herbert's Painting with Lord F.
LONDON, Saturday, April 9th, 1864.
—Atie. P. whisked off to the H. of Charity, then to be photographed ; and after luncheon, to which came Ld. Frederic and Ld. Richard Cavendish, and Uncle Henry, she went with Ld. F. and me to see a fine fresco of Moses showing the Tables of the Law, which Herbert is painting in one of the chambers of the Houses of Parliament. I conjecture humbly that its faults are, some monotony of expression and attitude, and something feeble in the drapery ; but the grouping and colouring are beautiful, I think ; also Moses' face, and the soft hot light and shade wonderful. I went to tea at the Stanleys of Alderley ; pleasant enough. Very pleasant party at Ld. Palmerston's.
—Atie. P. whisked off to the H. of Charity, then to be photographed ; and after luncheon, to which came Ld. Frederic and Ld. Richard Cavendish, and Uncle Henry, she went with Ld. F. and me to see a fine fresco of Moses showing the Tables of the Law, which Herbert is painting in one of the chambers of the Houses of Parliament. I conjecture humbly that its faults are, some monotony of expression and attitude, and something feeble in the drapery ; but the grouping and colouring are beautiful, I think ; also Moses' face, and the soft hot light and shade wonderful. I went to tea at the Stanleys of Alderley ; pleasant enough. Very pleasant party at Ld. Palmerston's.
08Apr1864, Garibaldi and Red Shirts
LONDON, Friday, April 8th, 1864.
—All the papers smile upon the Budget, even the Standard saying nothing more snubbing than that it was a réchauffé of one of Dizzy's 2 years back ! Uncle W., speaking of certain plays moving one to tears, said that there was something that made him feel ready to cry in his Budget ! viz. the description he gave of the gigantic power and prosperity of England. This I can well fancy. Drove with Agnes to call on wonderful old Miss Robertson, in her 89th year, able to walk briskly, and hear well, and bent upon coming the night Garibaldi dines here to squint at him from behind the door. For Garibaldi is in England, which fact makes everyone stand on their heads ; and I suppose all young ladies will shortly appear in red shirts, which, to my disgust, have come into fashion.
—All the papers smile upon the Budget, even the Standard saying nothing more snubbing than that it was a réchauffé of one of Dizzy's 2 years back ! Uncle W., speaking of certain plays moving one to tears, said that there was something that made him feel ready to cry in his Budget ! viz. the description he gave of the gigantic power and prosperity of England. This I can well fancy. Drove with Agnes to call on wonderful old Miss Robertson, in her 89th year, able to walk briskly, and hear well, and bent upon coming the night Garibaldi dines here to squint at him from behind the door. For Garibaldi is in England, which fact makes everyone stand on their heads ; and I suppose all young ladies will shortly appear in red shirts, which, to my disgust, have come into fashion.
07Apr1864, The Queen's Peculiar Desolation
LONDON, Thursday, April 7th, 1864.
—London feels oppressive and almost hot after Hagley : streets already a good deal blocked. The Saturday Review the other day had a disagreeable sort of threatening article about the Queen's maintaining her retirement ; and this (as is supposed) has led to her putting into the Times a statement of her determination to continue to delegate to others the matters of mere ceremonial, at the same time that she will never shrink from anything that may be beneficial to the people, of whose loyal affection she speaks warmly. She also says that the quantity of business that falls upon her in her loneliness and desolation has tried her health. Now all this should never have been allowed, as it is undignified for the Queen to defend herself in the Times against a wretched article in the Saturday Review ; but the expressions are most touching and pathetic, and I for one cd never bear to blame her. The country knows nothing of the Queen's peculiar desolation. It behoves us better to pray for her and to have pity, than to goad her, when she is devoting herself to duty and works of mercy, into Court gaieties. Aggie and I had the treat of going to hear the Budget, which took 3 hours, and was very interesting on the whole. A splendid surplus of 30,000, [FN: Sic ; but presumably a mistake for £3,000,000.] accordingly the income tax comes down from 7d. to 6d. and the sugar duties are greatly lowered.
—London feels oppressive and almost hot after Hagley : streets already a good deal blocked. The Saturday Review the other day had a disagreeable sort of threatening article about the Queen's maintaining her retirement ; and this (as is supposed) has led to her putting into the Times a statement of her determination to continue to delegate to others the matters of mere ceremonial, at the same time that she will never shrink from anything that may be beneficial to the people, of whose loyal affection she speaks warmly. She also says that the quantity of business that falls upon her in her loneliness and desolation has tried her health. Now all this should never have been allowed, as it is undignified for the Queen to defend herself in the Times against a wretched article in the Saturday Review ; but the expressions are most touching and pathetic, and I for one cd never bear to blame her. The country knows nothing of the Queen's peculiar desolation. It behoves us better to pray for her and to have pity, than to goad her, when she is devoting herself to duty and works of mercy, into Court gaieties. Aggie and I had the treat of going to hear the Budget, which took 3 hours, and was very interesting on the whole. A splendid surplus of 30,000, [FN: Sic ; but presumably a mistake for £3,000,000.] accordingly the income tax comes down from 7d. to 6d. and the sugar duties are greatly lowered.
06Apr1864, Dinner and a Party
LONDON, Wednesday, April 6th, 1864.
—Got here only just in time to scramble into a pink silk gown for a dinner and party. At dinner were Sir Robert and Ly. Emily Peel, Mr. [FN: Afterwards Lord Selborne and Lord Chancellor.] and Ly. Laura Palmer, Ld. Frederic Cavendish, Mr. Stansfield, Herbert the painter, Baron Rothschild.
—Got here only just in time to scramble into a pink silk gown for a dinner and party. At dinner were Sir Robert and Ly. Emily Peel, Mr. [FN: Afterwards Lord Selborne and Lord Chancellor.] and Ly. Laura Palmer, Ld. Frederic Cavendish, Mr. Stansfield, Herbert the painter, Baron Rothschild.
04Apr1864, Three Pummelled
HAGLEY, Monday, April 4th, 1864.
—Nevy and I had a splendid ride on to Kinver Edge and thence through Wolverley to Summerhill, where we called on Amelia Anson who looked very well. Claughtons out. A 3-barred fence obstructing the way on the top of the Edge, I put the hunter at it. He chose to take it standing, and alack ! off I rolled, dexterously falling pretty gently on my side on soft ground. Thus, mercifully, no harm resulted ; but I expect to feel well pummelled to-morrow. Perhaps, had I been 3 pummelled at the time I shd have stuck on ! but I won't stoop to that. We had grand gallops and only just got home in time for dinner.
—Nevy and I had a splendid ride on to Kinver Edge and thence through Wolverley to Summerhill, where we called on Amelia Anson who looked very well. Claughtons out. A 3-barred fence obstructing the way on the top of the Edge, I put the hunter at it. He chose to take it standing, and alack ! off I rolled, dexterously falling pretty gently on my side on soft ground. Thus, mercifully, no harm resulted ; but I expect to feel well pummelled to-morrow. Perhaps, had I been 3 pummelled at the time I shd have stuck on ! but I won't stoop to that. We had grand gallops and only just got home in time for dinner.
19Mar1864, Sibyl Grant's Wedding
LONDON, Saturday, March 19th, 1864.
—Sibyl Grant's wedding day : I was to have been bridesmaid, but feared I shd be late for the drawing-room. To the which I went, in a magnificent made out get-up of lilac train over white net, and in a Royal carriage. Made acquaintance with my colleague Miss Cathcart, a pretty, attractive person whom I think I shall get on with. The Princess looked very well, though thin : and the Prince immensely improved in looks and expression. Prss. Helena was there. I saw my 1st Court acquaintances, in the shape of Col. Liddell, Gen. Grey, and Ly. Ely. The latter not on duty as she had a daughter to present. Miss Cathcart and I being in waiting, failing 2 absent ones, stood on the steps of the Throne, just behind the fat backs of the Dss. of Cambridge and Prss. Mary ; and I was amused beyond measure at looking at the stream of old and young with their great variety of clumsy curtseys. At best, I came to the conclusion that people look rather like fools ; and at worst ! . . . Catherine Phillimore, whom her mother presented, looked better than any other young lady ; and went through the ordeal gracefully and with no apparent self-consciousness or affectation. The other people whom I knew were Ly. C. Lascelles and her daughter Beatrice, Ly. Meath, Mrs. Malcolm, Helen Baring, Ly. Clifden (looking ill and unhappy), Ly. Holmesdale, Mrs. Welby (late Victoria Wortley), Ly. A. Stanley, also a bride ; the Archbp. of Canterbury.
—Sibyl Grant's wedding day : I was to have been bridesmaid, but feared I shd be late for the drawing-room. To the which I went, in a magnificent made out get-up of lilac train over white net, and in a Royal carriage. Made acquaintance with my colleague Miss Cathcart, a pretty, attractive person whom I think I shall get on with. The Princess looked very well, though thin : and the Prince immensely improved in looks and expression. Prss. Helena was there. I saw my 1st Court acquaintances, in the shape of Col. Liddell, Gen. Grey, and Ly. Ely. The latter not on duty as she had a daughter to present. Miss Cathcart and I being in waiting, failing 2 absent ones, stood on the steps of the Throne, just behind the fat backs of the Dss. of Cambridge and Prss. Mary ; and I was amused beyond measure at looking at the stream of old and young with their great variety of clumsy curtseys. At best, I came to the conclusion that people look rather like fools ; and at worst ! . . . Catherine Phillimore, whom her mother presented, looked better than any other young lady ; and went through the ordeal gracefully and with no apparent self-consciousness or affectation. The other people whom I knew were Ly. C. Lascelles and her daughter Beatrice, Ly. Meath, Mrs. Malcolm, Helen Baring, Ly. Clifden (looking ill and unhappy), Ly. Holmesdale, Mrs. Welby (late Victoria Wortley), Ly. A. Stanley, also a bride ; the Archbp. of Canterbury.
18Mar1864, Mrs. Gladstone Very Busy
LONDON, Friday, March 18th, 1864.
—Found Atie. P. out, and heard that she is more overwhelmed with hard work than ever, as she attends certain meetings at London House where the Bp. assembles ladies to associate them in different acts of charity : an admirable thing, but Atie. P. has undertaken to visit a hospital in S. George's in the E., besides 3 other things. And how is she to do that, and all her own innumerable kind deeds, and her season and societyums, and be deep in politics, and be everything to Uncle W.—all at once ? She looks terribly fagged already. So does he, having been badgered in the House in re his excellent Government Annuities speech.
—Found Atie. P. out, and heard that she is more overwhelmed with hard work than ever, as she attends certain meetings at London House where the Bp. assembles ladies to associate them in different acts of charity : an admirable thing, but Atie. P. has undertaken to visit a hospital in S. George's in the E., besides 3 other things. And how is she to do that, and all her own innumerable kind deeds, and her season and societyums, and be deep in politics, and be everything to Uncle W.—all at once ? She looks terribly fagged already. So does he, having been badgered in the House in re his excellent Government Annuities speech.
17Mar1864, A Small Congregation
HAGLEY, Thursday, March 17th, 1864.
—Such a bright serene day, with warm sun and the early songs of birds all round one, that the E. wind could not make it disagreeable. I sat on the octagon bench after church, thoroughly enjoying the dawn of spring. Cong. 1.
—Such a bright serene day, with warm sun and the early songs of birds all round one, that the E. wind could not make it disagreeable. I sat on the octagon bench after church, thoroughly enjoying the dawn of spring. Cong. 1.
13Mar1864, Good Shooting
HAGLEY, March 14th, 1864.
—Did myself good by going out shooting with Charles, the dogs, and the little boys. But the result was small : 3 rabbits only falling victims, and those after I had set off churchwards.
—Did myself good by going out shooting with Charles, the dogs, and the little boys. But the result was small : 3 rabbits only falling victims, and those after I had set off churchwards.
12Mar1864, Promise of Spring
HAGLEY, Saturday, March 12th, 1864.
—Lovely sunny fresh day, full of the sweet promise of spring : a thing which has a power, unknown to summer, of "filling one's heart with joy and gladness."
—Lovely sunny fresh day, full of the sweet promise of spring : a thing which has a power, unknown to summer, of "filling one's heart with joy and gladness."
Thursday, January 08, 2009
09Mar1864, Jowett's Greek Professorship
HAGLEY, Wednesday, March 9th, 1864.
—Uncle Stephen went to Oxford yesterday, to vote in favour of Jowett's Greek Professorship having its salary raised, as has been done with all the others. His heresies not affecting his Greek teaching, this seems only fair ; but multitudes of furious clergy, frightened by the Privy Council judgment, posted up to oppose the measure, and it was negatived by a majority of 72 out of nearly 900. All Jowett's admirers, and all undecided and neutral men, will now think of him as a martyr. Of all pities, to pin such a grievance on him as this, when he confessedly throws his whole heart into his professorship and is now only paid £40. It does seem spiteful and blind. Surely truth can prevail against error though a heretic receives a sufficient salary for teaching Greek !
—Uncle Stephen went to Oxford yesterday, to vote in favour of Jowett's Greek Professorship having its salary raised, as has been done with all the others. His heresies not affecting his Greek teaching, this seems only fair ; but multitudes of furious clergy, frightened by the Privy Council judgment, posted up to oppose the measure, and it was negatived by a majority of 72 out of nearly 900. All Jowett's admirers, and all undecided and neutral men, will now think of him as a martyr. Of all pities, to pin such a grievance on him as this, when he confessedly throws his whole heart into his professorship and is now only paid £40. It does seem spiteful and blind. Surely truth can prevail against error though a heretic receives a sufficient salary for teaching Greek !
07Mar1864, Unutterable Things
HAGLEY, Monday, March 7th, 1864.
—Miss M. looks unutterable things, but says nothing.
—Miss M. looks unutterable things, but says nothing.
03Mar1864, A Relief
HAGLEY, Thursday, March 3rd, 1864.
—Miss M. got the letter, we presume ; but she gave no sign of surprise, indignation, or wounded feeling, and was particularly affable at luncheon. Such a relief !
—Miss M. got the letter, we presume ; but she gave no sign of surprise, indignation, or wounded feeling, and was particularly affable at luncheon. Such a relief !
02Mar1864, Miss Merlet is Dismissed
HAGLEY, Wednesday, March 2nd, 1864.
—Papa went to Worcester for 2 nights, which fact is the prelude to one of our many small but unpleasant catastrophes : his letter of dismissal to Miss Merlet whose "rapports" between us and the girls are very objectionable, and whose tone of mind and conversation is flippant and sarcastic.
—Papa went to Worcester for 2 nights, which fact is the prelude to one of our many small but unpleasant catastrophes : his letter of dismissal to Miss Merlet whose "rapports" between us and the girls are very objectionable, and whose tone of mind and conversation is flippant and sarcastic.
26Feb1864, Made Southerners of Us All
HAGLEY, Friday, February 26th, 1864.
—Went on trying to thaw. I did district. I received a most disquieting letter from Ly. Jocelyn, announcing the Queen's wish that I shd take the 1st half of an absent M. of H.'s waiting, begg. on Mar. 17, unless it is very inconvenient. I wrote word that it was very inconvenient, and await the result in a state of nervous tension. I shd be there for Holy Week and Easter Day ! Horrid thought ! A Southern American called Harrington gave a very interesting lecture on the secession and its causes, and made Southerners of us all. Though he has been a slaveholder himself, he wd not defend the institution of slavery, and said he believed the war wd do good in leading to gradual emancipation. In his state (S. Carolina) they don't allow husband and wife to be separated. He spoke with great bitterness of the Yankees.
—Went on trying to thaw. I did district. I received a most disquieting letter from Ly. Jocelyn, announcing the Queen's wish that I shd take the 1st half of an absent M. of H.'s waiting, begg. on Mar. 17, unless it is very inconvenient. I wrote word that it was very inconvenient, and await the result in a state of nervous tension. I shd be there for Holy Week and Easter Day ! Horrid thought ! A Southern American called Harrington gave a very interesting lecture on the secession and its causes, and made Southerners of us all. Though he has been a slaveholder himself, he wd not defend the institution of slavery, and said he believed the war wd do good in leading to gradual emancipation. In his state (S. Carolina) they don't allow husband and wife to be separated. He spoke with great bitterness of the Yankees.
25Feb1864, A Decision by the Privy Council
HAGLEY, Thursday, February 25th, 1864.
—There is violent excitement at the Privy Council having passed a judgment in favour of Wilson and Williams, 2 writers in the " Essays and Reviews," whom the Bp. of Salisbury and another indicted before it. Some think the decision of terrible consequence, and likely to compromise the Church, but Papa and others take the more reasonable line of viewing it as what it is—a mere legal acquittal of men whose opinions the Church has disavowed and protested against as strongly as she is capable of doing. And the Judgment carefully disclaims any intention of expressing approval of the horrid book. The "counts" were unwisely chosen, and not to be legally considered as proved against them.
—There is violent excitement at the Privy Council having passed a judgment in favour of Wilson and Williams, 2 writers in the " Essays and Reviews," whom the Bp. of Salisbury and another indicted before it. Some think the decision of terrible consequence, and likely to compromise the Church, but Papa and others take the more reasonable line of viewing it as what it is—a mere legal acquittal of men whose opinions the Church has disavowed and protested against as strongly as she is capable of doing. And the Judgment carefully disclaims any intention of expressing approval of the horrid book. The "counts" were unwisely chosen, and not to be legally considered as proved against them.
11Feb1864, Reading The Birthday
HAGLEY, Thursday, February 11th, 1864.
—I went with Lavinia to Stakenbridge, where we gave broth to the Wm. Smiths, pudding to Mrs. Billingham, and an egg to Betty Poole. I have been reading the chapter on Self-denial to the little boys (in "The Birthday"), and to-day there was a bit about not giving in charity of what costs us nothing. They soon understood what was meant, and thereupon we went in to luncheon. I put some broth into a can, and told Alfred I shd like him and Newmany to take it into the village. "0," says Alfred, "but I want to go and slide !" "Now then," said I ; no more ; to remind him of what we had been reading. "0, I forgot !" said the little fellow in a moment, getting quite red ; and he went as willingly as possible.
Finding, to my delight, that I have £70 at My Bankers', I spent most of the morning sending off cheques in different directions, to my infinite pride.
—I went with Lavinia to Stakenbridge, where we gave broth to the Wm. Smiths, pudding to Mrs. Billingham, and an egg to Betty Poole. I have been reading the chapter on Self-denial to the little boys (in "The Birthday"), and to-day there was a bit about not giving in charity of what costs us nothing. They soon understood what was meant, and thereupon we went in to luncheon. I put some broth into a can, and told Alfred I shd like him and Newmany to take it into the village. "0," says Alfred, "but I want to go and slide !" "Now then," said I ; no more ; to remind him of what we had been reading. "0, I forgot !" said the little fellow in a moment, getting quite red ; and he went as willingly as possible.
Finding, to my delight, that I have £70 at My Bankers', I spent most of the morning sending off cheques in different directions, to my infinite pride.
05Feb1864, Parliament Opens Without the Queen
HAGLEY, Friday, February 5th, 1864.
—Frost, and the 1st snow worth mentioning lay on the ground ; real enough to be galoshed against. Parliament opened yesterday : again by Royal Commission. One can't blame the Queen for shrinking from doing it this one year more : even with the Prince by her side, her nervousness used to be nearly overpowering ; and she must have broken the ice by going through some less trying State duty first. This year, too, of course the speech had to take a Danish line about the wretched duchies, whereas the Queen's private sympathies must be German. But alas ! there is an official announcement in to-day's Times that she still feels unequal to any State ceremonials, and the Prince and Princess of Wales are to hold levees and drawing-rooms. I fear there will be great grumbling and discontent at this ; and Oh the difficulty of the Prince of Wales' position !
—Frost, and the 1st snow worth mentioning lay on the ground ; real enough to be galoshed against. Parliament opened yesterday : again by Royal Commission. One can't blame the Queen for shrinking from doing it this one year more : even with the Prince by her side, her nervousness used to be nearly overpowering ; and she must have broken the ice by going through some less trying State duty first. This year, too, of course the speech had to take a Danish line about the wretched duchies, whereas the Queen's private sympathies must be German. But alas ! there is an official announcement in to-day's Times that she still feels unequal to any State ceremonials, and the Prince and Princess of Wales are to hold levees and drawing-rooms. I fear there will be great grumbling and discontent at this ; and Oh the difficulty of the Prince of Wales' position !
01Feb1864, Many Die in Chili
HAGLEY, Monday, February 1st, 1864.
—Made a tremendous scrimmage and rout among my clothes against the arrival of my new abigail ; a nice-looking, quiet-mannered body called Morgan, foreign only inasmuch as she is Welsh ; I have had enough of French (Ducelliez), Swiss (Henriette), and German (Gielen) experience ! The papers are full of the most horrible calamity ever heard of : the burning of 2,000 people, chiefly women and children, wedged together in a great church at Chili, where a great festivity was being held in honour of the "Immaculate Conception." The place was crammed with oil lamps and draperies and burnt so fiercely that all was over in a quarter of an hour. The two chief doors were blocked up with bodies, so wedged that hardly any could be dragged out by main force. Whole families have died together. The wretched priests secured the door of the sacristy for the saving of holy sofas, images, etc., and then escaped themselves.
—Made a tremendous scrimmage and rout among my clothes against the arrival of my new abigail ; a nice-looking, quiet-mannered body called Morgan, foreign only inasmuch as she is Welsh ; I have had enough of French (Ducelliez), Swiss (Henriette), and German (Gielen) experience ! The papers are full of the most horrible calamity ever heard of : the burning of 2,000 people, chiefly women and children, wedged together in a great church at Chili, where a great festivity was being held in honour of the "Immaculate Conception." The place was crammed with oil lamps and draperies and burnt so fiercely that all was over in a quarter of an hour. The two chief doors were blocked up with bodies, so wedged that hardly any could be dragged out by main force. Whole families have died together. The wretched priests secured the door of the sacristy for the saving of holy sofas, images, etc., and then escaped themselves.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
29Jan1864, Dinner at Ld. Russell's With Dickens
LONDON, Friday, January 29th, 1864.
—We dined at Ld. Russell's, which was very pleasant. There were there Dickens & Landseer ; neither very pleasant to look at, though one saw wit and genius in Dickens' odd eyes. Ld. Amberley took me in : seems clever and acute, but like so many men nowadays takes one's breath away by unchurchlike, not to say unbiblical, opinions, as for instance, that all mankind are born innocent and without the germs of sin ; and something very like "truth is what every man troweth."
—We dined at Ld. Russell's, which was very pleasant. There were there Dickens & Landseer ; neither very pleasant to look at, though one saw wit and genius in Dickens' odd eyes. Ld. Amberley took me in : seems clever and acute, but like so many men nowadays takes one's breath away by unchurchlike, not to say unbiblical, opinions, as for instance, that all mankind are born innocent and without the germs of sin ; and something very like "truth is what every man troweth."
25Jan1864, Stanley's Farewell Sermon
LONDON, Monday, January 25th, 1864.
— I read Stanley's farewell sermon at Oxford (Ch. Ch.). It grieved and shocked me, in spite of great eloquence, earnestness, and feeling ; for I cannot help seeing that the aims and the standard he puts forward are not distinctively Christian, but more like those of some refined philosophy ; and one asks oneself, where are the old paths ? the Bible rules, the humble obedience, above all, the following of the simple but Perfect Pattern ? These "dangerous days" are full of teaching that wanders from all these, and bewilders one with false liberality and confused belief. God keep us to the strait and narrow Way !
— I read Stanley's farewell sermon at Oxford (Ch. Ch.). It grieved and shocked me, in spite of great eloquence, earnestness, and feeling ; for I cannot help seeing that the aims and the standard he puts forward are not distinctively Christian, but more like those of some refined philosophy ; and one asks oneself, where are the old paths ? the Bible rules, the humble obedience, above all, the following of the simple but Perfect Pattern ? These "dangerous days" are full of teaching that wanders from all these, and bewilders one with false liberality and confused belief. God keep us to the strait and narrow Way !
20Jan1864, Dining With the Queen Again, So Sad
OSBORNE, Wednesday, January 20th, 1864.
—A 2nd time I have dined with the Queen ; this time I felt a good deal of trepidation, for in the 1st place I was the only one who received the order, and after waiting in vain for the Princesses as long as I dared, I had to march down all alone, when to my relief I found Ly. Biddulph sitting in the drawing-room. And she, Pr. Leiningen, and I got on cheerfully till the Queen appeared abt ¼ 9. She goes straight into the dining-room now without entering the dr. room. Well, in the next place, I had 2 speeches hanging over my head, one respecting a tinted photogr. of myself for the Queen : the other, to tell her I was going to-morrow. I sat opposite the Queen, and was much moved and taken out of by her expression of sadness. It was as if she had had to go thro' something which had stirred up the grief : her eyes reminded me of Mme. de Sévigné's description "des yeux qui ont pleures," and her whole look had a pathetic and patient sadness in it. And it touched one more from her affecting nothing. At first she was rather silent, but she spoke and smiled. And after a time she cheered up again ; but it has put before my very eyes something of the sorrow which hitherto I cd only picture to myself ; and this did go deep into my heart. She accepted the photograph and admired it. And then came her goodbye, and I felt I cd not help pressing her hand as I kissed it ; for what wouldn't I do for her?
—A 2nd time I have dined with the Queen ; this time I felt a good deal of trepidation, for in the 1st place I was the only one who received the order, and after waiting in vain for the Princesses as long as I dared, I had to march down all alone, when to my relief I found Ly. Biddulph sitting in the drawing-room. And she, Pr. Leiningen, and I got on cheerfully till the Queen appeared abt ¼ 9. She goes straight into the dining-room now without entering the dr. room. Well, in the next place, I had 2 speeches hanging over my head, one respecting a tinted photogr. of myself for the Queen : the other, to tell her I was going to-morrow. I sat opposite the Queen, and was much moved and taken out of by her expression of sadness. It was as if she had had to go thro' something which had stirred up the grief : her eyes reminded me of Mme. de Sévigné's description "des yeux qui ont pleures," and her whole look had a pathetic and patient sadness in it. And it touched one more from her affecting nothing. At first she was rather silent, but she spoke and smiled. And after a time she cheered up again ; but it has put before my very eyes something of the sorrow which hitherto I cd only picture to myself ; and this did go deep into my heart. She accepted the photograph and admired it. And then came her goodbye, and I felt I cd not help pressing her hand as I kissed it ; for what wouldn't I do for her?
17Jan1864, Dining With the Queen
OSBORNE, 2nd Sunday after Epiphany, January 17th, 1864.
—Poured all the morning. After many vacillations of the Royal will, the upshot was that the Household went to church on its own account, Ly. Ch. and I being diddled out of half the service by the Queen's keeping us to go with her for the latter half. And she did not go. Mr. Prothero preacht on death. In the aft., however, the Queen went, and thus I saw her to speak to for the 1st time. She took my hand and kissed me so kindly before getting into the carriage. A very good thanksgiving prayer was read for the Prss. of Wales and her baby. The Dean preacht, with a beautiful allusion to the little Prince's birth close to his grandfather's tomb. There came off my great event of dining with the Queen, which was very much more pleasure than terror to me. There was much more conversation than I expected ; the Queen talking and laughing cheerfully. She and the Dean spoke about sermons and Presbyterian preachers ; and the Dean made no bones of making occasional hits at the Scotch reverends, which the Queen took as a good joke. Then came a good deal about the poor of the great towns ; and how I should have liked to have brought the Mission Women on the tapis ! But brazen as I was, I hadn't quite that courage. The Queen spoke to me 2 or 3 times very kindly. We stood talking in the dining-room for a little while afterwards, then the Queen vanished, and we went to the ladies' room and joined the others.
—Poured all the morning. After many vacillations of the Royal will, the upshot was that the Household went to church on its own account, Ly. Ch. and I being diddled out of half the service by the Queen's keeping us to go with her for the latter half. And she did not go. Mr. Prothero preacht on death. In the aft., however, the Queen went, and thus I saw her to speak to for the 1st time. She took my hand and kissed me so kindly before getting into the carriage. A very good thanksgiving prayer was read for the Prss. of Wales and her baby. The Dean preacht, with a beautiful allusion to the little Prince's birth close to his grandfather's tomb. There came off my great event of dining with the Queen, which was very much more pleasure than terror to me. There was much more conversation than I expected ; the Queen talking and laughing cheerfully. She and the Dean spoke about sermons and Presbyterian preachers ; and the Dean made no bones of making occasional hits at the Scotch reverends, which the Queen took as a good joke. Then came a good deal about the poor of the great towns ; and how I should have liked to have brought the Mission Women on the tapis ! But brazen as I was, I hadn't quite that courage. The Queen spoke to me 2 or 3 times very kindly. We stood talking in the dining-room for a little while afterwards, then the Queen vanished, and we went to the ladies' room and joined the others.
16Jan1864, Parkhurst Women Convicts
OSBORNE, Saturday, January 16th, 1864.
—Cold wind, but fine. At Parkhurst, the poor women convicts found out it was the Queen and numbers fell on their knees begging for mercy and pardon, so as quite to upset those who heard them, and the Queen said she was sure, if one had managed to fall down at her feet, she must have forgiven her ! I rode with Prss. Louise, on Sampson. Prss. Hohenlohe is ill with a feverish cold. Whist in the evening, with Sir Th. Biddulph, Mr. Holtzmann, and Col. Ponsonby ; Dr. Jenner dined, and horrified me with his ugliness which is something suggestive to me of Voltaire.
—Cold wind, but fine. At Parkhurst, the poor women convicts found out it was the Queen and numbers fell on their knees begging for mercy and pardon, so as quite to upset those who heard them, and the Queen said she was sure, if one had managed to fall down at her feet, she must have forgiven her ! I rode with Prss. Louise, on Sampson. Prss. Hohenlohe is ill with a feverish cold. Whist in the evening, with Sir Th. Biddulph, Mr. Holtzmann, and Col. Ponsonby ; Dr. Jenner dined, and horrified me with his ugliness which is something suggestive to me of Voltaire.
14Jan1864, Die Or Go Out of Her Mind
Thursday, January 14th, 1864.
—Yesterday's weather aggravated. Poor Miss Bowater heard of her cousin's death, and went away in great trouble, thus interrupting the early growth between us of a very promising friendship : indeed I miss her much as the only companion among all these elderly people. I walked with Lady Churchill, who is a most winning and attractive person ; quite the most highbred-looking woman I ever saw, and with the kindest and most simple, unaffected manner : tall, dignified, and graceful, with a small noble head ; and her whole look reminding one of a gazelle. Saw Prss. Helena for a moment in Miss B.'s room : she received me very kindly ; interests one from her gentle, thoughtful expression, and lovely smile like the Queen's, on a face otherwise plain. Her manner is like one who has thought and done too much for her age, and been a comforter when others are only thinking of being merry-makers. Spent the aftn in my own room after the announcement of "No orders," till tea, after which kind, nice Countess Blucher took me to her room, where we had pleasant talk till 6¼. She spoke strongly of the improvement that strikes her in the Queen since her terrible loss : increased seriousness and patient earnestness in doing her duties, which are so heavy that the Queen has sometimes said they are too much for any woman ; and who can tell how terribly she must miss the Prince whose advice she used to ask in every detail, great and small ! Why won't people realize the burden and loneliness, and thank God for the strength He has given, instead of fretting at her not doing this and that ! Countess Blucher said that when Princess Hohenlohe heard of the Prince's death, the Countess found her walking up and down the room in real despair and saying, "One of two things must happen to my sister : I know her. She must either die of this, or go out of her mind." Isn't it a direct answer to prayer that instead of this the Queen is well, doing her duty, and resigned so entirely to God's Will that she said herself she wd not wish him back? The Household dinner consisted of the Dean and Mrs. Wellesley, Ly. Churchill, Col. Ponsonby, M. Holtzmann, and Mrs. Bruce ; and I was interested all thro' dinner talking of languages with M. Holtzmann ; and whist enlivened the evening.
—Yesterday's weather aggravated. Poor Miss Bowater heard of her cousin's death, and went away in great trouble, thus interrupting the early growth between us of a very promising friendship : indeed I miss her much as the only companion among all these elderly people. I walked with Lady Churchill, who is a most winning and attractive person ; quite the most highbred-looking woman I ever saw, and with the kindest and most simple, unaffected manner : tall, dignified, and graceful, with a small noble head ; and her whole look reminding one of a gazelle. Saw Prss. Helena for a moment in Miss B.'s room : she received me very kindly ; interests one from her gentle, thoughtful expression, and lovely smile like the Queen's, on a face otherwise plain. Her manner is like one who has thought and done too much for her age, and been a comforter when others are only thinking of being merry-makers. Spent the aftn in my own room after the announcement of "No orders," till tea, after which kind, nice Countess Blucher took me to her room, where we had pleasant talk till 6¼. She spoke strongly of the improvement that strikes her in the Queen since her terrible loss : increased seriousness and patient earnestness in doing her duties, which are so heavy that the Queen has sometimes said they are too much for any woman ; and who can tell how terribly she must miss the Prince whose advice she used to ask in every detail, great and small ! Why won't people realize the burden and loneliness, and thank God for the strength He has given, instead of fretting at her not doing this and that ! Countess Blucher said that when Princess Hohenlohe heard of the Prince's death, the Countess found her walking up and down the room in real despair and saying, "One of two things must happen to my sister : I know her. She must either die of this, or go out of her mind." Isn't it a direct answer to prayer that instead of this the Queen is well, doing her duty, and resigned so entirely to God's Will that she said herself she wd not wish him back? The Household dinner consisted of the Dean and Mrs. Wellesley, Ly. Churchill, Col. Ponsonby, M. Holtzmann, and Mrs. Bruce ; and I was interested all thro' dinner talking of languages with M. Holtzmann ; and whist enlivened the evening.
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