LONDON, October 13th, 1864.
—Did not leave Hardwick till 4.40 ; reached London before 10.30. I think Devonshire House will always bring back to me my rather awful visits to it before our marriage.
Friday, January 30, 2009
12Oct1864, A Game of Breathless Interest
HARDWICK, October 12th, 1864.
—I was beaten once at croquet, after which a game of breathless interest, closely contested, ended in my favour.
—I was beaten once at croquet, after which a game of breathless interest, closely contested, ended in my favour.
09Oct1864, Overwhelmed and Aghast
HARDWICK, October 9th, 1864.
—Fred read to me a powerful and earnest sermon of Liddon's on the Whole Counsel of God, which dwelt a good deal on the terrible subject of Future Punishment, which, though one before which Angels would veil their faces, is just now discussd even in newspapers, many questioning the Eternity of punishment. I became much overwhelmed and aghast with dwelling upon it ; but a solemn comfort has come to me with the desire to trust entirely to the Love of God, and to be content to know nothing clearly now. Of one thing we are certain : that He is Love and Light ; and that we are all weakness and blindness ; but shall know as we are known hereafter.
—Fred read to me a powerful and earnest sermon of Liddon's on the Whole Counsel of God, which dwelt a good deal on the terrible subject of Future Punishment, which, though one before which Angels would veil their faces, is just now discussd even in newspapers, many questioning the Eternity of punishment. I became much overwhelmed and aghast with dwelling upon it ; but a solemn comfort has come to me with the desire to trust entirely to the Love of God, and to be content to know nothing clearly now. Of one thing we are certain : that He is Love and Light ; and that we are all weakness and blindness ; but shall know as we are known hereafter.
08Oct1864, A Long Tour
HARDWICK, October 8th, 1864.
—Not one glimpse of sun all day. Nevertheless, I was able to take in the beauty of the forest scenery we saw to-day, at the same time that one longed for chequered lights to fall among the trees. We drove in the open carriage and four to Narton, and there mounted, and rode through Welbeck, Clumber (where the poor Duke of Newcastle is lingering, though no one thought he could live from week to week in the spring), and Thoresby ; and I saw at last what I have always imagined as an ideal forest, enormous trees with room to spread wide their arms, and their trunks not smothered in brushwood, but springing from a carpet of bracken ; a sight which gives one a pleasure akin to that of seeing the pillars in an empty cathedral nave, clear all the way up. I took the greatest delight of all in a splendid beech avenue, in which the glorious trees overarched like a cathedral roof. We rode for more than 4 hours, then re-embarked in the carriage at Warsop (after some hitches and losings of our way), to the great delight of all the inhabitants, who almost to a man, woman, and child, assembled to see us off.
—Not one glimpse of sun all day. Nevertheless, I was able to take in the beauty of the forest scenery we saw to-day, at the same time that one longed for chequered lights to fall among the trees. We drove in the open carriage and four to Narton, and there mounted, and rode through Welbeck, Clumber (where the poor Duke of Newcastle is lingering, though no one thought he could live from week to week in the spring), and Thoresby ; and I saw at last what I have always imagined as an ideal forest, enormous trees with room to spread wide their arms, and their trunks not smothered in brushwood, but springing from a carpet of bracken ; a sight which gives one a pleasure akin to that of seeing the pillars in an empty cathedral nave, clear all the way up. I took the greatest delight of all in a splendid beech avenue, in which the glorious trees overarched like a cathedral roof. We rode for more than 4 hours, then re-embarked in the carriage at Warsop (after some hitches and losings of our way), to the great delight of all the inhabitants, who almost to a man, woman, and child, assembled to see us off.
05Oct1864, A Good Deal of Reading
HARDWICK, October 5th, 1864.
—We did a good deal of reading : Butler on Personal Identity (a subject that I cannot help feeling instinctively it is ludicrous to argue about), and on Virtue ; a long pull at Mill "On Liberty," which shakes and bewilders nearly all my opinions, leaving me with my head in a bag ; and a little bit of Carlyle ; interposing between the 2 latter studies was a good rapid stump down the hill and about the park which did me good. The Duke and Lou came for dinner.
—We did a good deal of reading : Butler on Personal Identity (a subject that I cannot help feeling instinctively it is ludicrous to argue about), and on Virtue ; a long pull at Mill "On Liberty," which shakes and bewilders nearly all my opinions, leaving me with my head in a bag ; and a little bit of Carlyle ; interposing between the 2 latter studies was a good rapid stump down the hill and about the park which did me good. The Duke and Lou came for dinner.
04Oct1864, Ducal Circumstances
HARDWICK, October 4th, 1864.
—Fred and I came here alone, under the ducal circumstances of a special train, twenty-two servants, 6 horse-boxes, and two carriages. I recollected the wonderful old house and its approach very well, having been taken to see it with Papa last memorable winter from Chatsworth : little thinking ! How much more than a year ago it seems ! A fine golden sunset showed the place to great advantage, and it looked most imposing on the top of its hill, with the grand old oak trees scattered about. Our evening tête-à-tête was a happy revival of honeymoon ! the 22 servants, horses, dogs, and carriages having vanished utterly from sight. F. began spouting Mill "On Liberty" I began "The Vicar of Wakefield" ; (left it off).off).
—Fred and I came here alone, under the ducal circumstances of a special train, twenty-two servants, 6 horse-boxes, and two carriages. I recollected the wonderful old house and its approach very well, having been taken to see it with Papa last memorable winter from Chatsworth : little thinking ! How much more than a year ago it seems ! A fine golden sunset showed the place to great advantage, and it looked most imposing on the top of its hill, with the grand old oak trees scattered about. Our evening tête-à-tête was a happy revival of honeymoon ! the 22 servants, horses, dogs, and carriages having vanished utterly from sight. F. began spouting Mill "On Liberty" I began "The Vicar of Wakefield" ; (left it off).off).
My Portrait at Holker Hall
My picture hangs in the library of Holker Hall.How nice that they have put a colour reproduction of me on their website.
02Oct1864, A Day of Much Happiness
HOLKER, October 2nd, 1864,
—I received the Holy Communion for the first time in my new home, and felt drawn closer to it. Had happy Sunday reading and talking together ; showed my Fred a beautiful prayer by Jeremy Taylor for married people to say for each other. A day of much happiness indeed—blessings both of earth and heaven are outpoured upon me.
—I received the Holy Communion for the first time in my new home, and felt drawn closer to it. Had happy Sunday reading and talking together ; showed my Fred a beautiful prayer by Jeremy Taylor for married people to say for each other. A day of much happiness indeed—blessings both of earth and heaven are outpoured upon me.
21Sep1864, To Furness Abbey
HOLKER, September 21st, 1864.
—We all went to Furness Abbey, which carried me back to my delightful Lake tour with Papa and Uncle Stephen in '62, when I little thought under what circumstances I should see it again ! Thence, after a sumptuous luncheon, to lionize the iron and steel works (the latter F. is concerned with), the new dock, etc., of Barrow, which owing to the iron, has increased in population from 200 to [FN: Figure not inserted.] in about 10 years ; and is a spic-and-span, bustling place looking embodied Go Ahead.
—We all went to Furness Abbey, which carried me back to my delightful Lake tour with Papa and Uncle Stephen in '62, when I little thought under what circumstances I should see it again ! Thence, after a sumptuous luncheon, to lionize the iron and steel works (the latter F. is concerned with), the new dock, etc., of Barrow, which owing to the iron, has increased in population from 200 to [FN: Figure not inserted.] in about 10 years ; and is a spic-and-span, bustling place looking embodied Go Ahead.
21Sep1864, Former Beaux Engaged
HOLKER, September 21st, 1864.
—Had a glowing letter of happiness from Rosalind Stanley, [FN: Wife of the 9th Earl of Carlisle.] who is to be married on the 4th, and who announces her sister Kate's engagement to Lord Amberley. [FN: Son of the Prime Minister, Earl Russell, and father of the present Earl Russell and of Mr. Bertrand Russell.] F. and I have had much fun over this state of things ; for both the swains have formerly a little made up to me, and Ly. Stanley tried hard to hook Fred for one or other of the damsels ! Let us hope matters will turn out better as they are.
—Had a glowing letter of happiness from Rosalind Stanley, [FN: Wife of the 9th Earl of Carlisle.] who is to be married on the 4th, and who announces her sister Kate's engagement to Lord Amberley. [FN: Son of the Prime Minister, Earl Russell, and father of the present Earl Russell and of Mr. Bertrand Russell.] F. and I have had much fun over this state of things ; for both the swains have formerly a little made up to me, and Ly. Stanley tried hard to hook Fred for one or other of the damsels ! Let us hope matters will turn out better as they are.
13Sep1864, Jarring Civilities in a Church
HOLKER, September 13th, 1864.
—Soon after 12 went to Ulverston with the Duke and Lou, for the laying of the 1st stone (which he did) of an aisle to be tacked on to a most mean and scrubby church. The service was painfully intermingled with civilities and a rush after the trowel and mallet ; it was jarring, to say the least of it, to have prayers, civilities, sermon, blessing "God save the Queen," a speech from the incumbent, vociferous cheers and laughter from the crowd, in the church, and a speech returning thanks dragged out of the Duke by the said cheers, all one on the top of the other. Then came luncheon, where I liked my neighbour, Archdeacon Evans. And so home again before 4. Went into the village with Lou, and liked the people we saw. Then arrived the Edward Howards, and I was scandalized by these undutiful nephews calling their uncle Peter ! Lively whist.
—Soon after 12 went to Ulverston with the Duke and Lou, for the laying of the 1st stone (which he did) of an aisle to be tacked on to a most mean and scrubby church. The service was painfully intermingled with civilities and a rush after the trowel and mallet ; it was jarring, to say the least of it, to have prayers, civilities, sermon, blessing "God save the Queen," a speech from the incumbent, vociferous cheers and laughter from the crowd, in the church, and a speech returning thanks dragged out of the Duke by the said cheers, all one on the top of the other. Then came luncheon, where I liked my neighbour, Archdeacon Evans. And so home again before 4. Went into the village with Lou, and liked the people we saw. Then arrived the Edward Howards, and I was scandalized by these undutiful nephews calling their uncle Peter ! Lively whist.
12Sep1864, A Lovely Ride
HOLKER, September 12th, 1864.
—F. and I, Lou and Eddy, had a lovely ride "round by Bigland," whence the view over the Lake mountains was beautiful, in the soft light, with purple shadows. Switzerland has not a bit spoilt these hills for me ; they stand majestically on the horizon, instead of rising up sheer above one, as abroad ; and perhaps this makes one invest them with height and dignity. I rode Snap of happy Rotten Row memory. We got upon the sands at Roudsea, and had blissful gallops.
—F. and I, Lou and Eddy, had a lovely ride "round by Bigland," whence the view over the Lake mountains was beautiful, in the soft light, with purple shadows. Switzerland has not a bit spoilt these hills for me ; they stand majestically on the horizon, instead of rising up sheer above one, as abroad ; and perhaps this makes one invest them with height and dignity. I rode Snap of happy Rotten Row memory. We got upon the sands at Roudsea, and had blissful gallops.
10Sep1864, Refinements of Whist
HOLKER, September 10th, 1864.
—Whist in the evening : I am getting some gleams of light about its refinements, to my satisfaction.
—Whist in the evening : I am getting some gleams of light about its refinements, to my satisfaction.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
07Sep1864, My Past, My Present, and My Future
Volume IX - DIARY, SEPTEMBER 1864 — MAY 1866
HOLKER, September 7th, 1864.—The beginning of this book is a solemn thing to me ; for how little I can tell or conjecture how much I may be altered, and how much may have happened, before the end ! Of course it was always a sealed thing to me, but, on the threshold of a new and untried life, the veil over the future seems closer than ever. But I cannot now feel oppressed, as I did at first, in thinking of all that was new. For, as I have often said and thought, my past, my present, and my future, are all bathed in sunshine, which but for my own faults and weaknesses would be entirely unclouded.
HOLKER, September 7th, 1864.—The beginning of this book is a solemn thing to me ; for how little I can tell or conjecture how much I may be altered, and how much may have happened, before the end ! Of course it was always a sealed thing to me, but, on the threshold of a new and untried life, the veil over the future seems closer than ever. But I cannot now feel oppressed, as I did at first, in thinking of all that was new. For, as I have often said and thought, my past, my present, and my future, are all bathed in sunshine, which but for my own faults and weaknesses would be entirely unclouded.
31Aug1864, The Poor People Were Charming
BOLTON, Wednesday, August 31st, 1864.
—No going to luncheon again, but another thorough duty-doing in the way of visits : Fairfield and Beamsley Hall were the gentry, and both have had the treat of receiving Fred's and my elegant cards which delight my heart. Freddy shot well to-day : 17½ br. The poor people we saw were charming : I bought some lemon drops and barley sugar in one cottage, and we were regaled with oatcake and milk, so that a good deal of the time was spent in eating. I announced that I cd not bake oatcake. "Ay, ye're nobbut a young wife." All the neighbourhood seems to have heard of Fred's wonderful bag the 1st dogging day : 35½ brace. They say his marriage has done him good ! One old woman bade Lou and me tell "Markis he mun dance in a peck," as his younger brother has married first ! Mr. Lionel Ashley came, and made my hair stand on end at dinner by announcing that he had just heard for the 1st time of Keble and the "Xtian Year" ! ! !
—No going to luncheon again, but another thorough duty-doing in the way of visits : Fairfield and Beamsley Hall were the gentry, and both have had the treat of receiving Fred's and my elegant cards which delight my heart. Freddy shot well to-day : 17½ br. The poor people we saw were charming : I bought some lemon drops and barley sugar in one cottage, and we were regaled with oatcake and milk, so that a good deal of the time was spent in eating. I announced that I cd not bake oatcake. "Ay, ye're nobbut a young wife." All the neighbourhood seems to have heard of Fred's wonderful bag the 1st dogging day : 35½ brace. They say his marriage has done him good ! One old woman bade Lou and me tell "Markis he mun dance in a peck," as his younger brother has married first ! Mr. Lionel Ashley came, and made my hair stand on end at dinner by announcing that he had just heard for the 1st time of Keble and the "Xtian Year" ! ! !
28Aug1864, A Book by Newman
BOLTON, 14th Sunday after Trinity, August 28th, 1864.
—Church only in the morning, as we lost our way and so prolonged the aftn. walk. Mr. Robinson preached excellently on the 10 lepers. We walked on to Hazlewood and Bolton Park. F. and I had a dear little sit after the walk, talking, and reading the evening 2nd Lesson and Psalms, and a little "Christian Year." Before luncheon I read him Tennyson's new poem, "Enoch Arden," which we both liked extremely : I think I shd put it next to "Guinevere." Letter to Atie. Pussy. I have just read a book which Newman has written in answer to a very feeble and spiteful attack on him by Kingsley. The title is "Apologia pro vita suâ," and it is an account of his religious opinions and what led him to Rome. I was often beyond my depth ; but I think I see something of the principle which influenced him, viz. that Unity is more to be valued than pure doctrine ; and he got into a dilemma between Rome on the one hand and scepticism on the other. He is as little controversial as is possible and defends none of the great errors, except indirectly. It is written very fairly and modestly ; and in his beautiful clear style.
—Church only in the morning, as we lost our way and so prolonged the aftn. walk. Mr. Robinson preached excellently on the 10 lepers. We walked on to Hazlewood and Bolton Park. F. and I had a dear little sit after the walk, talking, and reading the evening 2nd Lesson and Psalms, and a little "Christian Year." Before luncheon I read him Tennyson's new poem, "Enoch Arden," which we both liked extremely : I think I shd put it next to "Guinevere." Letter to Atie. Pussy. I have just read a book which Newman has written in answer to a very feeble and spiteful attack on him by Kingsley. The title is "Apologia pro vita suâ," and it is an account of his religious opinions and what led him to Rome. I was often beyond my depth ; but I think I see something of the principle which influenced him, viz. that Unity is more to be valued than pure doctrine ; and he got into a dilemma between Rome on the one hand and scepticism on the other. He is as little controversial as is possible and defends none of the great errors, except indirectly. It is written very fairly and modestly ; and in his beautiful clear style.
19Aug1864, The Fat World and a Pamphlet by Banting
BOLTON, Friday, August 19th, 1864.
—All the fat world are dieting themselves with wonderful thinning effect after a plan recommended in a pamphlet by Mr. Banting, whose name is already shining in the firmament of fame.
—All the fat world are dieting themselves with wonderful thinning effect after a plan recommended in a pamphlet by Mr. Banting, whose name is already shining in the firmament of fame.
12Aug1864, First Day's Grouse Shooting
BOLTON, Friday, August 12th, 1864.
—Fine warm day ; grey but not hazy. It is delightful to me seeing this place again : I remember some of the moors by name. Father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband all went off for the 1st day's grouse shooting. After writing to M., sitting a little in the garden, and receiving with Lou a visit from the Robinsons, she and I drove in the pony-carriage to Brass Castle and had luncheon with the shooters, prostrate grouse at our feet. Very nice. We dawdled a little among the blossoming ling before coming home ; then went up the terrace ; tea and talk, and I read Edinburgh Review. About 7½ home they came, my Fred having shot the most birds, viz. 35½ brace : Cavendish looked dejected, having only killed 20 brace.
—Fine warm day ; grey but not hazy. It is delightful to me seeing this place again : I remember some of the moors by name. Father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband all went off for the 1st day's grouse shooting. After writing to M., sitting a little in the garden, and receiving with Lou a visit from the Robinsons, she and I drove in the pony-carriage to Brass Castle and had luncheon with the shooters, prostrate grouse at our feet. Very nice. We dawdled a little among the blossoming ling before coming home ; then went up the terrace ; tea and talk, and I read Edinburgh Review. About 7½ home they came, my Fred having shot the most birds, viz. 35½ brace : Cavendish looked dejected, having only killed 20 brace.
09Aug1864, A Day Without Fred
HOLKER, Tuesday, August 9th, 1864.
—The 1st day I have spent without Fred, who went off at 9 with the Duke on Furness railway business, and was not back till nearly 8. I did miss him very much ! but it was almost worth the break of seeing him come back. And I made great strides in sisterly intimacy with dear Lou who took me before luncheon round the park, and afterwards driving to Old Park, Holker Bank and Beale, and on the sands. I have blundered the names, I fear. Also she took me to a consumptive son of Mrs. Abbotson. She took me about the house, and I made acquaintance with Fred's old room, her sitting-room, the Duke's, etc., and looked at the pictures of them all done when they were children ; the little boy who died must have been a darling. I tidied some of my possessions, which talk to me of Hagley ; filling my writing-box. At tea in Lou's snug room at 6, began first to shake off some of my strangeness : she is very nice. Was horror-struck at being late for dinner !
—The 1st day I have spent without Fred, who went off at 9 with the Duke on Furness railway business, and was not back till nearly 8. I did miss him very much ! but it was almost worth the break of seeing him come back. And I made great strides in sisterly intimacy with dear Lou who took me before luncheon round the park, and afterwards driving to Old Park, Holker Bank and Beale, and on the sands. I have blundered the names, I fear. Also she took me to a consumptive son of Mrs. Abbotson. She took me about the house, and I made acquaintance with Fred's old room, her sitting-room, the Duke's, etc., and looked at the pictures of them all done when they were children ; the little boy who died must have been a darling. I tidied some of my possessions, which talk to me of Hagley ; filling my writing-box. At tea in Lou's snug room at 6, began first to shake off some of my strangeness : she is very nice. Was horror-struck at being late for dinner !
Monday, January 26, 2009
08Aug1864, Home to Fred's Home
HOLKER, Monday, August 8th, 1864.—Another of the great days of which I seem lately to have had so many : my 1st arrival at Fred's own old home, Holker. There was some heart-pinch in leaving old Hagley thus, in the middle of the summer holy-days, and driving away, all the dear faces watching us off from the perron, and Newmany from the nursery window. But I could not be sad ! and the words that ran in my head when I stood in the new home explain why : "Thy people shall be my people." My home is where my Fred is. We arrived at Cark about 5 ; and near where a new school is being built, a knot of men took the horses out and drew us fast up to the house, cheering. I could enjoy this, as it was for F. and not for me ; I cd see it went very much to his heart. He made me stand up with him in the carriage when we stopped at the house door, and holding my hand, said, "My friends, I thank you for yr hearty welcome of my wife home to Holker." How they cheered ! The Duke and Lou met us in the hall, and the Duke kissed me. We had tea in the conservatory, and afterwards walked up Bigland Scar whence the view delighted me beyond anything I expected. We sat there, and I drunk it in, wondering when all wd be familiar to me ! The evening made me a little shy and bewildered.
05Aug1864, Learning Glynnese Glossary
HAGLEY, Friday, August 5th, 1864.
—I had a capital ride with Lavinia and Bob. Butler, Carlyle, and Glynnese Glossary [FN: For which see Appendix A.] with Fred ! Said Fred is getting on buckish and familiar terms with M., to my delight.
—I had a capital ride with Lavinia and Bob. Butler, Carlyle, and Glynnese Glossary [FN: For which see Appendix A.] with Fred ! Said Fred is getting on buckish and familiar terms with M., to my delight.
04Aug1864, Fred Doing the Agreeable
HAGLEY, Thursday, August 4th, 1864.
—Dinner party of Rogerses, Walriges, Mr. Stayner, Mr. Gambier Parry : too mad Papa hooking me in to dinner, Albert presiding at the head of the table, Granny making the "moving bow" to me, and Fred doing the agreeable to Mrs. Walrige ! I put on my dear Queen's necklace and Cavendish's [FN: She underlines this : presumably because it is the first time she calls her formidable brother-in-law, Lord Hartington, by his family name. He began life as Lord Cavendish] beautiful bracelet ; and a lovely trousseau gown ; but I felt I looked just like Lucy Lyttelton, nevertheless.
—Dinner party of Rogerses, Walriges, Mr. Stayner, Mr. Gambier Parry : too mad Papa hooking me in to dinner, Albert presiding at the head of the table, Granny making the "moving bow" to me, and Fred doing the agreeable to Mrs. Walrige ! I put on my dear Queen's necklace and Cavendish's [FN: She underlines this : presumably because it is the first time she calls her formidable brother-in-law, Lord Hartington, by his family name. He began life as Lord Cavendish] beautiful bracelet ; and a lovely trousseau gown ; but I felt I looked just like Lucy Lyttelton, nevertheless.
30Jul1864, Return to Hagley
HAGLEY, Saturday, July 30th, 1864.
—Bewildering, bustling morning, combining packums, shoppums, letterums, and interviews with my 2 new brothers, and with the Mesdames Talbot, who turned up unbeknown as I was sitting exhausted in my petticoat waiting to be robed in smart array for going home. For so you still are, and so in one sense you ever will be, through whatever changed eyes I see you, dear, dear old Hagley ! We arrived about 7, and were greeted by a village reception, as M. was. Cheers, flags, and triumphal arches and an address read by Stephens. It all went deep into me—all the familiar sights and faces overpowering me too—and when we got out upon the old perron, I was trembling all over. Then my Fred made a little speech, thanking them so well and heartily. I held his hand all the while.
—Bewildering, bustling morning, combining packums, shoppums, letterums, and interviews with my 2 new brothers, and with the Mesdames Talbot, who turned up unbeknown as I was sitting exhausted in my petticoat waiting to be robed in smart array for going home. For so you still are, and so in one sense you ever will be, through whatever changed eyes I see you, dear, dear old Hagley ! We arrived about 7, and were greeted by a village reception, as M. was. Cheers, flags, and triumphal arches and an address read by Stephens. It all went deep into me—all the familiar sights and faces overpowering me too—and when we got out upon the old perron, I was trembling all over. Then my Fred made a little speech, thanking them so well and heartily. I held his hand all the while.
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